Wednesday, 28 December 2011

My days with Buddy... days 7-10

Okay, I have really lapse in my postings of my days with Buddy.  I guess its because he is doing so well, so I really have little to say, other than, "he's doing great!"

Today, I need to make a modification to a previous statement regarding the genders of the puppies.

Yes, I made an error in this little one...
...actually, not so little.  This is the largest of all Lucy's pups to date.

HUGE!

I called her Big Bertha.  Well, this has been changed to Big Bert...drop the "ha".

Yes - she is a he.

I discovered this just 2 nights ago.  The kids had just left for home and I came in for a puppy cuddle, picking up this sweet little one, when I thought..."hmm - what is that?"  In my preoccupation with Little Buddy, I happened to pass over the existence of this...
Yes, amid this big belly, he is definitely "endowed".  What I believed to be an umbilical cord is actually his manhood.

Sorry little guy.

I have to say that I am quite embarrassed by this oversight.  When Alyssa was just 5 days old, waiting for discharge, my regular doctor was unavailable to do a check over before we left, so another doctor was brought in.  As Lys lay "naked as a jay-bird" this professional kept referring to her as "him", "he" etc.  I was so put off by is lack of knowledge in human anatomy.  I never forgot that.

Now I realize - I'm not so smart either.

ps... Buddy now weighs 150 gms.  Three times his birth weight!!

Saturday, 24 December 2011

My Days with Buddy...day 6 (missed day 5 - I know!)

100 grams!!

yes...100 grams!!

At 5 days old, Buddy has hit the goal of 100 grams.  5 days!  He has beaten the odds and doubled his birth weight.  

True confessions time...on Monday I really had doubts that we would make it to this day.  I wanted to believe with all my heart that he would survive.  I googled small birth weight puppies and read stories that I should never have read.  I also doubted my abilities to really pull this off.  The first few chimes of my alarm clock in the middle of the night really made me doubt it!  

Little Buddy is a popular little guy.  People all over the world have been checking in on his progress, praying for his survival and hoping for success.  

I have been asked by many people if they could be his new family, but I have decided that Buddy is mine.  He and I have a bond that formed some time during one of those early morning feedings, in one of the kisses placed on his soft little head.  It would be impossible for my heart to cut those ties.

Welcome home, my little Buddy!


Thursday, 22 December 2011

My Days with Buddy... day 4

NEWS FLASH
           Buddy is now 24 hours OFF the syringe.  Last night I gave him his last 2 cc's of Mammalac.  Actually - most of it ran down his neck because he really didn't want it.  As soon as I set him down, he found his way to his dear Mamma and latched on and stayed there for half an hour.  He has clearly decided that the "real thing" is better than that artificial stuff.  
           I am now getting some sleep...at least more than 2 hours at at time, but I did wake up a few times in the night - just to check.  Apparently my mothering instincts are still pretty acute.  
He is not fully out of the woods yet.  He is still pretty small - just over 70 grams, almost at 80 - so I would like to see him well over the 100 grams before I am breathing easy.  
          Thank you for praying.  I am convinced that he is the most prayed for dog in the world right now.  I can't go anywhere in this little town without someone asking how little Buddy is.  I think we all love to hear about miracles - especially at this time of year.  On behalf of Lucy, Buddy and me - thank you for your clear signs of love and concern.  We are blessed!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 


Many of you have been asking about the other puppies.  Today I was finally able to take a few pictures of them and I promise to put in more as the days go on.  Lucy is still pretty unsettled if they are taken from her close supervision, so I try to respect her wishes in this.


Here is their first family photo.  They are still a little "rat-y" looking, but day by day they are getting cuter and cuter.  As my friends know, I have to name everything...my vehicles are Eleanor, Boo, the Beast, and Eddie (as in VanHalen).  I have a purse named Lizzi.  My camera is Nik.

Well, these puppies cannot remain nameless forever, and although they are going to be renamed by their new owners, I do have to call them something other than Buddy's sisters.  So, introducing - on the left - Emma and in the middle - Bertha.  Now before you start freaking out, I need to explain.  These 2 puppies are much larger than little Buddy (see his head size compared to theirs??).  These two brutes think nothing of pushing him off a good milk supply to fill their own large tummies, so they got named "Fat Emma" and "Big Bertha".  As much as I try to keep them away from Buddy, and even in their complete blind state, they are amazingly able to smell and scootch over to Lucy if they even sense that Buddy is getting fed and they are not.

It is sibling rivalry at it's finest.  Each trying to get the best position at the expense of the other.  Lucy has 6 very functioning milk apparatus (apparati?) but they all seem to want the one that Buddy is securely attached to.  Sometimes they make me so frustrated (I am a little biased toward my little guy), and I will give them a little scolding as I remove them.  They just seem so selfish.

But then, just when I think that they are just the most evil little creatures, they do the most amazing thing.  When feeding time is over, they provide the greatest source of warmth for their skinny little brother.  At nap time these two plump little puppies curl up tightly around and over Buddy.  Their chubby bodies creating the perfect temperature for his tiny frame.

Just a normal modern family.  At times a little selfish, but when the chips are down they create a safe and warm place to protect their own.

After all, we can all use a little cuddle every now and then.





Wednesday, 21 December 2011

My Days with Buddy...day 3

"Make sure that you weigh him to see that he is thriving."

Hmmm... weigh something that is the size of a box of paperclips.  That won't work so well on my bathroom scale.  After much pondering, I remembered the postage scale at the school.  Thankfully with Christmas here, not much is needing to be weighed these day, so I have absconded with a measuring devise for Buddy.
 

At the clinic on Monday, Buddy weighed in at just under 50 grams.  Do you know how much that is?  These are a few things that weigh 50 grams - just to give you a little perspective...

* 10 nickels
* a package of Trident gum
* a small stapler

That was the original weight of Buddy.

I am happy to announce that as of today, Buddy is a grand total of 70 grams!!  That's like adding 4 more nickels!

Way to go little Buddy!!

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

My Days with Buddy...day 2

I guess this is actually still day 1, but days are feeling like weeks right now, so bear with me.

The syringe feeding began, just as the Doctor ordered.  I am not unaccustomed to such lengths for animals.  I come from a long line of soft-hearted animal lovers.  I well remember my Dad trying to save and rescue wounded or even dead animals.  We once had a gold fish - named Goldie (original, huh!) that was belly up one morning.  I cried and Dad went to work on her.  He filled a glass with warm water and added a pinch of salt.  He then laid the floating fish in the glass and started to give it "artificially respiration" by stroking its gills.  For some reason I, to this day, believe that this little fish came back to life. Not sure if that's a correct memory, or the firm belief in the power of my father.  Needless to say, with that in my past - along with many concussed birds that hit our french door, brought back to health by my Dad, and other such stories, I am a believer in miracles with animals.

Through out the day yesterday I did the feedings.  9:30, 11:30, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30.... every 2 hours.  Alyssa drove to Three Hills to see the little ones, so she helped with the 7:30 feeding while I was at practice.  She found out it was not as easy as one would think.

First of all, Lucy is NOT pleased with this process.

She is a remarkable mother.  At only 2 years old, she has the amazing instincts of an old pro.  She goes into complete panic when I pick Buddy up to feed him.  She cries and nudges my hand with her nose.  She loves me and trusts me, so she doesn't get mad, but she definitely lets me know that this is not what she likes.  It is like she was trying to tell me, "Let me do that!  This is MY job!".

Sorry Luce - it doesn't work that way with this little guy.  I have to help you.

The feedings went like clockwork.  He doesn't like the syringe much - especially when I give just a little too much pressure on the plunger and he gets a bit more than a drop at a time.  But with persistence, things are going well.

Then, we saw it.  Lys noticed it first.  Buddy is latched on to Lucy.

I couldn't believe it!  But there he was, snuggled up close, little paws on either sides of her teats.  He was really sucking.  We watched to make sure that he was swallowing properly, and sure enough, he was doing it.

Lucy looked at me as if to say, "See?  I told you this was my job!", and laid her head down and closed her eyes.

We cried.  We thanked God for His tender care over these "insignificant ones" that are so significant to us.

I was still not convinced that he would completely "get it", and that his big aggressive sisters wouldn't allow him to have his fair share, so throughout the night the feedings continued...2:00, 4:00, 6:00.

At 8 am I was out of formula, so I dragged my very tired self to the kitchen to mix up the milk for the day.  I came into the family room - aka the nursery - and settled onto the floor next to the nest of blankets.

There it was again - Buddy latched on perfectly - and his two sisters nicely tucked under Lucy's front and back legs, keeping an open path for him alone to nurse.

I looked at Lucy and said, "You think you're pretty smart don't you!"  She smiled.  (YES, dogs DO smile) and laid her head down and gave a big sigh.

At that moment, I felt very close to God. Through the life of this new little family I have learned that He takes care of those that He loves, and I know He loves Lucy and her babies...just like He loves me.

I have had some very difficult days the past month or so.  I have been criticized and slandered about the very things in my life that mean the very most.  It has cut me to the core and made me feel hurt, alone and damaged.  Although I have had the support of many wonderful and dear friends, this affirmation this morning - on the floor beside my dear little dog - God spoke to me.

It was like He said, "I'm going to look after you.  I know you are hurt.  I know others are hurting you, but you need to let me feed you.  I will hold the others away.  Trust me.  Good people can help you feel better, but I will do more.  Let me."

Let me.

So I have.  Thank you Father.







Monday, 19 December 2011

My Days with Buddy...day one

2:55 am....(pant pant pant).... (dig dig dig)
        "Lucy!  Stop it!  Go to sleep"

- didn't stop - didn't sleep

Fully awake...  "Dan, Lucy's in labour!"

This is the first time that my beloved has been around to experience the miracle of life - at least with Lucy.  Actually, come to think of it, he was only around for Alyssa's birth too since Riley was born half way between the ambulance and the delivery room...

"How long does this usually take?"

"A while"

"I'm going back to bed"

So I began my long night with Lucy.  She has had some pretty bad luck with her babies.  This is her 3rd litter of pups and has up until now, birthed 6 puppies - with only 3 surviving.  I was not looking forward to digging another grave through the snow.

6:17 am..."Dan!!  Here comes one!"  Out plopped a little girl.  She has Lucy's face and white little paws.  Her coat is a warm, rich brown.

Perfect

Alive!

6:29 am..."There's another one coming...breech...shoot!"  Watching for the right signs in Lucy, I grab the back end of the next puppy - another little girl and gently...pull (and pray).

She starts kicking right away.  She is jet black with a white face, white paws, and a beautiful white circle on her tummy.

Perfect

Alive!

Is that it?  Lucy seems more relaxed and she tends to the cleaning of her beautiful little girls.  If she has any more in there, she doesn't seem to be ready to deliver it any time soon.  I decided that she was done.

7:32 am...was that another contraction?  Absolutely.  Lucy starts to squirm and push and I see him.

so tiny

too tiny

Oh Lucy, I'm sorry.  My eyes are clouded with the tears I didn't want to cry, when suddenly he kicks at the membrane enclosing him.

Alive!

I quickly pulled off the clear sac and coaxed him to breath.  "Come on buddy, you can do this... come on!!"  There is a little squeak - hardly audible, but I heard it.

Buddy

Little bitty thing.

While his sisters figured out the whole food supply thing just moments after birth, Buddy is not catching on.  I call Dr. Kathy - friend and vet - and I tell her what was going on.  "Just bring him over - I will take a look"

First vet visit at only moments old.

She weighs him.  50 grams.

Anything under 100 grams is not considered viable.

Not considered viable.  But he is alive - just tiny.  What do I do?

"Are you up for a challenge?" she asks.

To make him live?  "Yes!".  She then proceeds to give me instructions on how to help my little buddy survive.  Make this formula up - feed with a dropper, 1-2 mls every 2 hours (EVERY 2 hours) - keep him warm (at least 95 degrees) - Best if he stays right next to your skin, especially if you are getting hot flashes - he'll like that!"

Funny.

"Will he survive?"

Maybe.

"What if I don't do this?"

He will die.



Kathy said that there is usually a reason that these little ones are born so little.  It could be what takes him eventually. Even if he lives past the first few difficult days, he could die of something else down the road...

...after I have truly grown to love him.

"Why would you do this?  Why not let him die?"  you might be asking.

Because all God's creatures deserve a fighting chance.  He could have been still born or gotten stuck, but no - he was strong enough to take his first breaths.

I respect that kind of strength and I will do all I can to help him live.

So thus begin my days with Buddy.

Happy Birth-day sweet boy!

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Making Lefsa

Today I spent the day with my Mom.

Now, before you go thinking that I believe in ghosts and stuff like that - let me explain.

I made Lefsa.

Lefsa is a wonderful Scandinavian treat made of potatoes, butter, cream, sugar, salt and flour...that's all.  But that combination is perfectly heavenly.

Mom made the best lefsa.  (among other things)   So many of the memories that I have of her centre around the food that Mom lovingly prepared and fed us.  She was amazing in the kitchen.  I now wish that I would have participated with her in the kitchen rather than just watch her.

So now, out of necessity, when I am cooking things that are "Mom food" - I tend to talk to her and get her advise.  It's when I feel closest to her.

This is her domain.

These are her tools.  I inherited them.  Her old potato ricer, her lefsa rolling pin, her Westbend round griddle (used ONLY for cooking lefsa) and her turning stick - that my dad made.  Her recipe has little notes that I made while she gave me the instruction.  Things like, "don't handle the dough too much - it will get tough"  and  "add flour until it feels right"  and  "BUTTER, not margarine!"   These are things that I remember her saying to me like it was yesterday.



Another thing that she told me long ago what this... You must use leftover mashed potatoes.  I asked her a few times why she didn't just cook up a bunch of potatoes, mash them, put them into the fridge and make lefsa out of them.  She told me that it just didn't work to do it that way.  It had to be leftovers.  Trying to argue this with her ended up in her words that shut down the questions.

 "the dough knows"

What?  The dough knows?  What does that mean?

I thought about that today as I pressed 8 cups of true leftover potatoes through that old ricer.  We did a big turkey dinner for a church Christmas banquet on Sunday.

Leftovers.  The remaining bits of a delicious dinner, enjoyed by many.  Maybe that is the secret.

The dough knows

The dough knows that it created from something good.  People ate to their heart's content, the rest was wrapped up to be use later, for a different purpose.  A fabulous purpose...lefsa.

As the circles of dough cooked on the griddle, I could smell Mom's kitchen.  That comforting aroma of rich goodness.

Memories of a house full of family...
kids laughing
playing Skipbo
putting together a puzzle
food always within arm's reach
Mom taking care of all of us



As I spread the butter and sprinkled on the sugar and cinnamon and rolled up the warm flat circle, I cried a little bit.

I told Mom that I missed her.  I told her that we were all okay, but it just wasn't the same without her.

I wished for more time, but thanked God for the amazing time that we had with her.

What a great day with my Mom.  I think I will do it again...really soon!


Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Christmas Traditions

We all have them - those little "insignificant" things that matter significantly

Tradition

Growing up, my family tradition included
   * turkey dinner on Christmas eve - with mom's amazing marshmallow pineapple salad
   * family all under the same roof - LOTS of family
   * opening presents on Christmas eve - AFTER the dishes and reciting Luke 2 as a family
   * playing games and eating lefse, homemade carmels, candy cane shape sugar cookies
   * Christmas morning service
   * stockings with a Japanese orange in the toe, filled with socks, candy and other little trinkets
   * left-overs that tasted almost better than the first time around

But - times change.  Some traditions pass with loved ones.  New families are formed of blended traditions, creating a whole new set.

Dan and I have been married for 26 years and although for many of our initial years he followed my family Christmas rituals - the past few years, we have begun to form our own.  Many of them are related to our tree.

(Clockwise - starting at the top left)

1.  Our first Christmas without Mom, I bought all of my siblings this ornament.  It has 9 mother of pearl hearts around it - symbolizing our family (mom, dad, Selmer, Ruth, Gerry, Sharon, Joyce, me and Allan) Every time I place it on the tree I remember the incredible Mom that she was for us.

2.  My new ornament for this year - I buy a new one every year

3.  The mallard duck.  This was the FIRST ornament we bought - or should I say DAN bought.  It was at Woodwards in Red Deer.  Dan found it in a bargain bin - go figure and HAD to have it.  I thought it was hideous. Now it isn't a Christmas tree without it

4.  Flipflops from Hawaii - our happy place.

5.  Truck - actually this one has no significance.  I just thought it was pretty cool - and it's red

6.  Our first Christmas Together - 1985.  It is totally the wrong color and a little 80's looking, but so precious and will always have a place on the tree

7.  My tree - tied up in ribbons, cranberries and weird little plastic popcorn things

8.  A sled made from Popsicle sticks.  Riley made this for me in Grade 1 - Miss Plett's class.  I love it.

This last picture is what has made me most nostalgic tonight


These ornaments didn't make it onto the tree this year.  These are Riley's ornaments.  When the kids were born I started collecting a new ornament every year for them.  Two years ago I packed up Alyssa's and this year it's Riley's turn.

Big tears dropped freely onto the worn little boxes as memories of the significance of each little trinket flooded my mind.  The lion - purchased from the Farmers Market, the bear ice fishing with a penguin, the mouse in a hockey skate, the baseball themed "JOY".

They will soon have a new home that is beginning new traditions.

I wonder if they will find an ugly mallard duck.

Friday, 2 December 2011

Day 30: Three wonderful things that happened this month

As you might have noticed, it is 2 days past the day that this post should have been written.

I could say that I have been busy, and that would be true, but then if you know me at all, you would know that I rarely miss blogging when I am on one of these little "missions"

The truth is that I was really having a hard time coming up with 3 wonderful things.

Actually - I could come up with them, I was not allowing myself to think about them.  Instead I was focusing on the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad things that happened.

How incredibly unwise of me!

My dear friend Erin has been a great teacher in this regard.  Her tweet yesterday said "Spreading the love today!  No negativity!  New concept for the day.  Pass it on!  Merry CHRISTmas!"

She also has a new tat on her arm that looks like this...  It is a pretty cool one with 2 messages of letting GO to let GOD look after all of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad things that happen to us from time to time.

So, in line with my good friend's advise, I shall not just share THREE
wonderful things - I shall share THIRTY  


*1*   lost 13 lbs
*2*   decorated my office for Christmas
*3*   went to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with Lys, Samm & Luke
*4*   had a weekend of shopping and fun in Great Falls with the family
*5*   sang my favorite Christmas song with Andi and Lys at the THAA Christmas Concert
*6*   hosted a Tea party for my good friends - discovered some FABULOUS new teas!
*7*   spent a day painting Canucks stripes on my nephews' new bedroom wall with Stace
*8*   performed in Mousetrap with an amazing cast of friends
*9*   bought a fabulous new Nixon watch from the Swap and Buy Three Hills site
*10* auditioned 32 talented people for our Spring Musical
*11* stayed at my sis' house for a couple of nights to catch up
*12* celebrated Lys' 23rd birthday at a surprise party for her
*13* discovered sugar free Reeces Peanut Butter cups with only 3 grams of carbs in 5 candies!
*14* found a group of friends, some I haven't even met face to face - but bless me every day
*15* had visits from 2 of last year's dorm girls
*16* saw Breaking Dawn with my kids
*17* bought Michael Buble's new Christmas album
*18* was given an amazing little notebook of great words from my spp
*19* got our pvr replaced  :)
*20* took a much needed break from Facebook
*21* read the Hunger Games trilogy
*22* am reminded every day how much I love this job and these girls
*23* discovery of Winter Spice tea
*24* spent an evening at the Samaritan's Purse warehouse packing Shoeboxes for kids
*25* bought a sweet purse named "Lizzy"
*26* spent some time visiting my Dad in the hospital in Edmonton
*27* sweet words when my heart is really heavy
*28* put a deposit down on our team's tickets to Colombia!
*29* winter wonderland - without being 40 below!
*30* today is the day the Lord has made - I will rejoice and be GLAD in it


Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Day 29: Someplace I'd like to visit

Usually in the winter, I would pick a nice and warm location as my destination of choice.

However, I think today I would like to go visit a castle - a real castle - not a fake one like Cinderella's at Disneyland

I want to go to one like this...


I would love to explore the vast rooms, curl up on an old leather wing back chair in front of a huge, crackling fire.

I would love to learn the history of the occupants of these glorious homes.

I would like to be a princess - or maybe a queen - just for a while



Monday, 28 November 2011

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Day 27: Myself, one year ago

I was exhausted

The day before I and my team of eager Colombia travelers, had made over 200 apple pies.

We peeled, chopped and sweetened hundreds (about 800) granny smith apples

I measured pounds of flour, lard, salt, water and vinegar


My hands blended giant bowls of pastry until my hands ached

We rolled out 400 crusts and assembled delicious pies.

In all we raised over $2000 that we in turn were able to buy tables full of school supplies, toys and other essentials for the people we have grown to love in Bogota.



I was exhausted

But it was worth it!

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Day 26: Something I am looking forward to

There are so many things on my "I can hardly wait for" list
* Christmas
* Colombia
* Joseph
* Surgery  (not!)

but you have heard so much of all these, so I will tell you about our plans for summer holidays.

ROAD TRIP!!



Dan and I are starting to talk about taking a long vacation with Eleanor.  I have started to make a list of the places that I want to go
   * Mount Rushmore
   * Grand Canyon
   * Las Vegas
   * The Redwood Forest
   * Oregon coast
   * North Cascades

It will be a wonderful trip - top down - pedal to the medal

Can't wait!!


Friday, 25 November 2011

Day 25: The contents of my purse


* wallet - from Colombia - coolest.wallet.ever!
* prescription sunglasses
* kleenex (one gently used - one pack of new)
* TD Canada trust pen & pink mechanical pencil
* medicine  (Aleve, Advil, Excedrin, Advil Cold & Sinus, Rolaids, Gravol, Halls)
* a lighter (no I don't smoke)
* hairbrush
* nail clipper
* lipstick x 2
* 2 hair elastics
* disposable tooth brush
* dental floss
* Pink Sugar roll on perfume
* hand cream
* "lady supplies"
* Icebreakers Frost breath mints
* Trident Vitality gum - best.gum.ever - only available in the USA
* receipts from my latest trip to Montana
* Victoria Secret coupon book

But really - who cares what's IN the purse when you have such a fabulous purse to fill!

This lovely little lady is called "Lizzy" because it feels like a lizzard.  No, not a snake - a lizzard.  If it felt like a snake I would not have come within 10 feet of it.

She is created by Marc Ecko and she is wonderful.  She tends to turn into a bit of a black hole for my stuff inside, but who cares when you are so incredibly beautiful!

She completes me....

I really love purses.  Not long ago I realized why.  A purse never judges you if you are up a few pounds, like a pair of jeans do.  Jeans will declare to the world, "Hey girl!  You packin' on the pounds!  I'm not even going to do up, and furthermore - here's a nice muffin top to boot!"

A purse would never say such things.  She just waits in the closet until she is needed for a new season or to complete the perfect outfit.  When you pick her up, she just snuggles up nice and close under your arm and is just happy.

The perfect friend...


Thursday, 24 November 2011

Day 24: Something that means a lot to me

I would have to say that the people in my life mean the very most to me.  I am pretty sure that I could live with out any possession, but to live without the ones I dearly love - that would be impossible to survive.

So - something that means a lot to me is Lucy.

Photo by Ron Nickel Photography

Lucy is just over 2 years old and has been with me since she was 10 weeks old.  After Alyssa and Brandon were married, and Riley moved to Red Deer, I was feeling a little bit of the empty nest syndrome.  Even Dexter had moved with Lys, so it was pretty quiet around the house.

We have never been a "dogless" family - since 4 months after Dan and I were married, so it really didn't feel complete without a little mutt in the house.

About a month after the kids were gone, I started to Kijiji puppies.  I really wanted a mini Yorkie.  There is a lady in town that has one that is so incredibly sweet so that was my new dog of choice.

Then I found Lucy.

I called the number, talked to the guy from Spruceview and made arrangement to come and meet her.  I walked in the door to MANY dogs.  These people had at least 10 dogs in their house - but were only selling this one.

She had been purchased by a couple - the husband buying a puppy for his wife to keep her company while he was on the road as a trucker.  Catastrophe struck them when she was diagnosed with cancer and passed away just days after finding it.  Her husband couldn't keep this little girl, since he was never home, so he brought her back to the people that he bought her from.

Lucy and I made an instant connection.  She wasn't a very frisky little puppy.  It almost seemed like she was affected by this sad turn of events in her very early life.  She walked across the kitchen and curled up on my lap and fell asleep - like it was where she belonged.

I was hooked.

I pulled out the wad of cash and she was mine.

She is better than prozac on a bad day.  Never has she not been completely overjoyed to see me come in the door.  She is my greatest cheer leader.  She has licked away my tears, snuggled her toasty warm body next to me, warned me of impending stranger danger, and been a true friend.

Next to humans - she is just the very best.





Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Day 23: Eight things you didn't know about me

I am pretty sure that some of you will know some/few/all of these things - my life is basically an open book to most...hence the blog

1)  I have a strawberry birthmark on my right shin

2)  I have a debilitating fear of snakes...like seriously

3)  I have been pregnant five times

4)  I don't have a favorite colour, but I don't really like purple very much

5)  I have only seen one Star Wars movie, one Lord of the Rings movie, and one Star Trek movie - but have seen every Harry Potter movie and Twilight movie to date.

6)  I memorize lines in the shower

7)  I don't like eating most things that ever lived in an ocean

8)  Today my weight is.... something that you still don't know  :)

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Day 22: Someplace I have traveled

Out of all the places that I have traveled - this is one of my most favorites, which is why I keep going back.

Colombia!  


I love this place so much.  The people - the culture - the beauty

It has become my second home.

In 78 days I will be there again.  It can't come quickly enough!!

















 Colombia...here I come!!


Monday, 21 November 2011

Day 21: Something I could never tire of

easy...

Pinterest.

If you don't know what that is, you are missing out big time!  I discovered Pinterest through my friends that I strive to be just as cool as  (Makiko, Erin, Alicia)  I was on for about an hour and I was hooked.   


You can find the coolest ideas, most yummy recipes, cute pictures, funny sayings and wise words on there.  Things like this...



When I am feeling a little beat up by life's circumstances, I will often come to Pinterest for a bit of a distraction.  I never leave disappointed.  

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Day 20: A childhood anecdote

As a child, growing up in "pre-trib" home, I was always reminded that I needed to be ready when Jesus came back to take His children to heaven.  I was taught it could be any time at all but it was definitely going to happen.

At the time I had a sweet dog named Tussen.  I think it was about the 5th "Tussen's" we had - but I really loved this little mutt.

I began to ponder the thought, "What will happen to Tussen if my whole family is taken up with Jesus?  He will be all alone with no one to feed him and he will die".  The thought actually kept me up at night and I remember asking my Mom about it, only to hear the reply, "You will be in heaven, so you won't even think about Tussen back here on earth."

Well, I did NOT believe that - so I found a friend at school that I know didn't go to Sunday School, and decided that she would be my answer.  I told her that one day - and it could be very soon - I and lots of other people could vanish into thin air.  I then asked her that when it happens, if she could please come and feed my beloved Tussen.  She asked me where I would be going.  I told her I was going to heaven.  She then asked why she wouldn't be going to heaven, to which I plainly replied, "Because you don't go to Sunday School so you will get left behind."  (see?  I even gave Tim LaHay his book title long ago!!)

She freaked out.  To the point of going home and telling her mom, which in turn called my mom.  I was reprimanded for my tactics of securing a caretaker for my dog - and I think I even got grounded for it.

Funny thing - I still think about Lucy getting left, so I keep her dog food on a low shelf so that she can get it easily...

just in case...

Day 19: A silly self portrait


a few of my "alter egos"

Friday, 18 November 2011

Day 18: What I wore today

 Yes - this is what I wore today...

well at least from 6 pm until about now anyways.

For the past 6 years I have been involved with the Three Hills Arts Academy.  It is a wonderful little organization that basically was formed when Prairie decided to ax their fine arts program.

I have mostly directed the spring musicals, but once in a while I get to be on the stage instead of in the booth.

For this year's Fall fundraiser we did a Murder mystery called Mousetrap by Agatha Christie.  It is a delightful tale of twists and turns, but results in the untimely death of dear Mrs. Boyle - played by moi...

It was great fun to work again with the amazing talent that this little town holds.

I can hardly wait to start in on the next project!!

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Day 17: My Family

I know - I talk about my kids and husband all the time.  Naturally one would think then, that this blog would be about them.

wrong!

Today I dedicate to those that I first called "family"...  The Hansons

I was born 6th in a line of 7 children to a pair of PBI grads that were challenged to "change the world" back in the 40's.

Their "world" was churches - Bow Island, New Westminster, Calgary, Sorrento, and Three Hills.  In each of those places, they did change the world.  Dad's ministries were blessed over and over and as a family we witnessed what a life sold out for serving Him would profit.

Eternal rewards.

Today my Dad is in a room in the University of Alberta Hospital.  His frail body worn out from the years of life on this earth.

He wants to go to heaven.
He wants to be with his dearest treasure.
He wants to be rid of this tired old shell.

But he waits.  Not quite the right time...yet

And we wait with him.  This family that believes in
    * hope
    * joy
    * love
    * grace
    * forgiveness
    * faith
    * God


This is our legacy.

And when that day comes, we will not be sitting around a lawyer's desk, waiting to hear about the fortune we will inherit.

Our inheritance is much more valuable.  It is the kind that's found in Matthew 6 - the kind that
"moths and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal"

The eternal kind

So what does that look like in real life?

It's standing shoulder to shoulder with each other when we go through real life...with
   * hope
   * joy
   * love
   *grace
   * forgiveness
   * faith
   * God



The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places
Surely, I have a delightful heritage!
Psalm 16:6



Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Day 16: Someone that inspires me

I have seen this day coming for some time now and thought and pondered long and hard about inspiration lately.

I wear a ring that says    * inspire * uplift * renew *   


Those words are goals for my life and how I react with others that God puts in my path from day to day.

But who does this for me?

In my reflections of the MANY people that have positive influences on my life, I have come to this one person.  She is not someone that many would expect - but on careful examination, it is easy to see why she inspires me.

She is beautiful - but her beauty is so much more than a pretty face.  It reaches to the depths of her soul.

Her heart is one that beats with Jesus'.  She shows her compassion for the hurt and broken - for the girl that has just found out that she is pregnant and all alone - for the family that has lost hope - for the child that has nothing

She has a deep love for her family.  Her husband and three boys never question the intensity of that love.  The rest of us have known her to "be there" anytime, anyplace, anywhere, and at any cost.

She is talented.  God has blessed her with a creative streak that is evident in her home, her client's hair, her fabulous cakes, her crazy skits, and her awesome parties.  The things that she touches are covered with the fingerprints of love and care.

She understands grace.  She has had her share of hard stuff, but has chosen to accept the grace that only the Father could give her, the forgiveness that Jesus provided, and the life that is Spirit guided.

I am blessed to have her in my family.

I love you Stace!


Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Day 15: Some style inspiration for the season

Stars

I am fascinated by those bright, shiny orbs in the sky

A few years ago, I decided to start incorporating them into the decor of my house.  Christmas is one of the best times to really go nuts on them.  Here are a few of the ones that shine in my home...



Monday, 14 November 2011

Day 14: A favorite movie

this is probably the hardest one to do

when it comes to movies - I love so many for just as many reasons

however, to pick just one, for today I will pick one that I am inspired by.


I don't think it was a huge block buster.  In fact, I know many people that have never heard of it.

That is a shame.  Really - if you have never seen this one, it is so worth the trip to the video store!
(make sure that you get the one with Jim Caviezel - NOT Gerard Depardieu)

I love this story because of the message of finding peace in your soul towards those that hurt you.

Edmond Dantes was a poor sailor with nothing but the love of a good woman, and a whole lot of integrity.  The combination of these two things set him on the road to success until he was stopped by a friend overwhelmed with envy.  Edmond's life was turned upside down as he lost everything.  Consumed with the need for vengeance he lived out his life to pay back the wrongs done to him.

I won't give away the ending - you will just have to watch it for yourself.

You really won't be sorry!


Sunday, 13 November 2011

Day 13: Something I'm proud of

I grew up a PK - a Preacher's Kid.  Now - one of the first things we learn as a PK is that
                                                       pride is wrong

It is, after all, one of the 7 deadly sins.

So it is understandable that stating for the whole world to read "Something that I'm proud of" - well that is kind of difficult.

I could say that I am proud of my kids.  That is the "mom" answer.  Don't get me wrong, I am really proud of my kids and the amazing people they have turned out to be.

But going beyond motherhood - I think what I am proud of is my ability to create epic-ness.

I think it started back when I was just a wee child and I started writing plays and skits.  When I was about 12 and my little brother was 9 we did a whole program of Ice Capades on the homemade rink out back of our house in Calgary.  It was stellar.

Since then I have moved on to bigger things.

The process of taking black and white words and notes on a paper - then
        scheme and dream
        plan and build
        create and produce...
There is really nothing like it at all.

Right now I am in the "scheme and dream" phase of my next big project.  I have had dozens of dreams (and nightmares) about how the finished product will be.

Soon I will be confined to a rehearsal space, a theatre space, and my crazy place.  I have moments of wondering, is it all really worth it?

Then the lights go down, the music goes up, the first words are spoken, an audience becomes part of the story and in an instant - I know...

absolutely!



Saturday, 12 November 2011

Day 12: Three Blogs I can't get enough of

The first one is that of my friend Krista.  She has always had such interesting blog postings, but since moving to Cambridge - I am always looking to see her latest.  I love her stories and her pictures and her perspectives on life!
http://kristadawne.blogspot.com/

The next one is one that I found on Pinterest - kind of by accident.  This woman is a master of almost any household problem that can come up.  She posts things from how to throw amazing theme parties (LOVE those!!) to how to paint your kitchen cabinets.  I love love love her stuff there!  Check her out!
http://www.askannamoseley.com/

The third would have to be a tie between these friend's blogs.  I like them for different reasons.  Some make me laugh, some make me cry, some make me sigh and some inspire.
Some do all of the above!
http://abayababe.blogspot.com/
http://girlwithsomethoughts.blogspot.com/
http://barefooties.blogspot.com/
http://nilgiristeahouse.blogspot.com/
http://kiko72.blogspot.com/



Day 11: Something I've been craving

CARBS!!

- french fries
- macaroni & cheese
- fresh, soft white bread
- cheesecake
- sweet potato fries
- pizza
- buns
- cookies
- chocolate

okay, I think you get the point.

I'm on a 25 carbohydrates-a-day meal plan.  aka - the Atkins diet.  And NO I am not related to the dead doctor that invented it.  He spells his name wrong.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but all I know is that for me - it works, so I will do it.


Thursday, 10 November 2011

Day 10: What I love about my job


This is it...

The reason that I love to get up in the morning.  This is the wall that directly faces me as I sit at my desk.

On it are the beautiful faces that God has given me to -
      - laugh at their goofy jokes
      - give them medicine when they are sick
      - celebrate birthdays, aced tests, and new boyfriends
      - listen to their trials and tribulations with those silly boys
      - be a shoulder to cry on
      - give hugs
      - pray with
      - and love dearly

Over the past 7 years I have seen 67 of these amazing girls don the blue gowns and then leave this place that I have tried to make a home away from home.  Every year I cry when they do.

The funny thing about it is that they really never ever leave.

They always stay in my heart.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Day 9: A close up of my day

a day in the life of a high school girls dean...

7:00 am - country radio (the bad kind - like old CFAC) comes on and I hear the offensive sound of an announcer that I know is from good old Alberta, talking with an accent that rivals those of the back roads of Alabama.
 - my beloved shuts off radio and heads to work - I roll over and fall back to sleep

8:00 am - my ipod goes off - much less assaulting sound - I hit snooze - again and again

8:30 am - leave behind my fluffy duvet covered memory foam cloud to answer the call of nature.
- weigh myself tentatively (since I attended a Dinner Theatre last night) and find to my delight...down 10.8 lbs so far
- do the "happy dance"
- decide not to return to bed in case I never get out again.
- check the blackberry to see what is in the plan for the day.
- put on my face and get my hair back into its former state
- make bed - to alleviate further temptation to return and get dressed - Wednesday is sweat pants day

9:02 am - phone call from office...**** is missing from class
- confirm that the "blue sheet" was not handed in detailing the truancy - all is well

9:10 am - check facebook - write some birthday greetings, message to friend back from southern holiday, and check in with my "homies"
- catch up on some emails

10:20 am - drop some sweat with the aid of Just Dance 3 - songs for today are:  Black Eyed Peas-Pump it, A-Ha-Take On Me, Katy Perry-California Girls, SugarHill Gang - Apache(Jump on it), and LMFAO-Party Rock Anthem.  Sufficient sweat has occurred.

11:00 am - call from the Doctor's office (yea!!)  Appointment with Dr. Mark Allen on Dec 12 - the monsters are going to be released soon!!!

11:05 am - breakfast (well brunch) - eggs (of course) and Wiebes' Mennonite sausage with garlic & a cup of Candied Ginger Peach Rooibos tea (thanks Shuggy!!)

11:20 am - head to my office
- pray for my Colombia team (Mel, Christy, Justine, Nicole, Sheri, Bruna, Mike, Mark, Nolan, Justin, Dylan and Clint) - we arrive in Colombia 3 months from today
- visit with my beautiful girls as they come in for a break before afternoon classes.
- marvel (again) at how blessed I am that this is my job!
- sign various permission forms, get everyone's plans for the long weekend.
- check in with my RA on any of yesterday's activities
- brewed another cup of tea - Blueberry Bang (thanks again Shuggy!)
- read Isaiah 61...uffda!  I needed that!
- "girl talk"

1:10 pm - meet with PBI about Homecoming 2012 plans

1:45 pm - stopped at High School office to check in with my girl, Reenie
- get my fix of Diet Pepsi out of the machine

2:00 pm - back to my office
- prayed for my sweet girls in the dorm
- fill out a LONG reference form for YWAM for one of my girls wanting to go to Argentina on a Soccer DTS (another miracle)
- work on files and reports that have been put off for too long
- do Colombia team fundraiser Pie orderforms
- call ACSI in Colorado Springs to talk about Colombia plans and details...so stinkin' excited!!
- cleaned up my office... I drink a lot of Diet Pepsi!

3:30 pm - my girls are arriving back from the grind
- more "girl talk"

5:15 pm - cleaned off desk

5:30 pm - cooked supper with Dan. - stirfry - he cut up the deer steaks, I chopped the veggies.  I love it when we can make supper together....talk about our days, etc.  He is a good man

6:00 pm - Survivor & supper - BOOOO little weasel Cochrane!!!  I yell at the TV during Survivor

7:00 pm - Community Choir practice at the Arts Academy - I think Erin and I will get kicked out of the choir.  We are every director's worst nightmare.  I wish James and/or Ben were here. ...nuff said - why not buy and extra present...*shudder*

8:30 pm - back to the dorm to check in my little studious ones!
- more "girl talk"
- catch up on Facebook and emails

9:00 pm - snuck into the tv lounge to watch Modern Family - but it isn't on until 10 - so I miss it!  BOOO again

9:30 pm - meet with my RA team (minus Heather who is modelling in Vancouver :)

10:00 pm - devos - Alisha told her story - SO good!!

10:40 pm - more "girl talk"

11:00 pm (ish) - home to bed - my nice fluffy duvet covered memory foam cloud - where I started this day 16 hours ago...






Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Day 8: The last thing I bought

(the last thing that I bought was actually part of a gift for a friend, but since I have have already given it away, I will have to go to the next thing)

my new tea mug


as previously stated - I LOVE Christmas, so when Starbucks releases their Christmas merchandise - i go a little nuts.  Usually i just go in and tell Alyssa what I want for Christmas - but since she is no longer working at Starbucks and is now at Festival Ford, I can't exactly do that.  

although...I could tell her that i really like that 2012 Mustang in the lot...hmmm


Monday, 7 November 2011

Day 7: A song for the day

I am one of those odd people for whom Christmas can not come early enough.

I have to show restraint when I flip the calender over to November to not go out to the shed to pull out the tree and decorations.   My eyes glaze over at the beautiful displays in the malls, the Christmas glitz in the craft shows, and the music... LOVE the music of Christmas.

I have a playlist on my ipod of Christmas music, and I will admit, I will often flip over to it throughout the year - but only in solitude.

I have been playing these beautiful melodies for some time in my office, when all is is calm.  There is one song that I have found that I press repeat on more than others.  The version of it that I love is by the Canadian Tenors.  If you have not heard of them, you really do not know what you are missing.  It is "melt music" at its finest.

This song is probably my favorite...

Instrument of Peace


Where there is hatred, let me bring love
Where there is doubt, let me bring faith
Where there is falsehood, let me bring truth
Where there is pain, I'll comfort you


Where there is silence, let me sing praise
Where there's despair, let me bring hope
Where there is blindness, let me bring sight
Where there is darkness, let me bring light


And with these words I speak
Grant that I may not so seek to be heard, but to hear
To be consoled, but to console
Not to be seen, but to see, to be loved, but to love


For when we give love we will receive 
When we forgive love we'll find reprieve
It is in dying we'll be released
Make me an instrument of peace

love
faith
truth
comfort
praise
hope
sight
light

My Christmas list for this year.  So much better than socks.

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Day 6: The book I am reading

I actually had started reading the second book in the Hunger Games trilogy.  I loved the first one and blew through it in about 40 hours.  I like the second one, but due to circumstance in my life right now, I have had a very difficult time concentrating on the words for more than a page at a time.

So, instead, I have been meditating on a different book.

Phillipians

This summer I stumbled across this book and was amazed at how many things in it just fit with where I was in my life.  As I started planning for our school's 5th trip to Colombia, again, it was the book of Phillipians that kept creeping back into the back of my head.  I would hear it in a sermon, or read a verse from it in a note from a friend.  It just couldn't be ignored.

I have been trying to memorize part, if not all of it.  I'm not great at memorizing, but this is just something that I just can't help but feel like I really really need right now.

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, REJOICE.  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally brothers and sisters - whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praise worthy - think about such things.


Think about such things...

Saturday, 5 November 2011

Day 5: three years ago today

Goodness sakes, I can barely remember what I did yesterday - let alone THREE years ago!

However, thanks to the marvels of Facebook and the insane compulsion that I have to live my life on this social media site, I have discovered what I think I was doing 3 years ago.

I was preparing to add to my family - in two ways.

First was through the addition of a son.  Brandon and Alyssa had been dating since November 2006.  I have always told everyone that I picked my children's spouses, since in both cases, I met them before my kids did.  Brandon lived in the dorm and from the start I knew that he was a keeper.

He was a man of integrity - even at an early age.  He clearly showed a love for God and his fellow man.  He was definitely son-in-law material, so it was never difficult to see Lys and Brandon pursuing a relationship.

They dated a LONG time.  Really long, considering that Dan and I only dated 3 months before we got engaged!  When Brandon finally came to Dan and I, asking for Alyssa's hand - we were enthusiastically in favour of it.

Then came "the plan" - how to pop the question.  Brandon wanted to do it big, so he asked the master for help.  Knowing that I was all about the production, he conscripted me to set the scene...the theatre at Prairie - full of candles, red roses and just the right music.


It went off without a hitch.  She said yes - of course, and today I am even more thankful for Brandon.  Not only did he join our family, but he brought along with him an amazing family that have become some of our very best friends.  It is a rare and beautiful thing to melt two very different families together like this.  Blessed!

The second addition I was waiting for was the arrival of my first grandson.  Amy had come back into my life just 6 years earlier, after a the separation of adoption.  Now she was having her first baby.  This was the connection that we shared together.  She was my first child - not quite mine and this her son, my grandson - but again, not quite mine.  Isaac made his appearance just 4 days after this day 3 years ago.  He is loved by many, including me.


Friday, 4 November 2011

Day 4: a friend that I adore

DISCLAIMER:   To all my dear dear friends - and you know who you are - I can only choose ONE friend to write about.  This does not mean that I do not adore you as well.  You all make my life richer in your own way...


I don't even remember the day that I met this amazing person.  I feel like I have known her forever but I know that had I actually met her in high school, I would have hated her because she went to the rival school...Dr. E.P. Scarlett  (boo!!!)

But God knew that we would so need each other later, so that is exactly when He brought her into my life.  We went through parenthood together and our kids became great friends - to the point of even being involved in both Lys and Ri's weddings.

but - above being a good family friend - this woman is my hero.

the night that I was contacted by the daughter that I gave up for adoption - she was there - sharing in my heart failure, witness to an absolute miracle

when my Mom passed away it was this dear saint that swooped in with her caring style and became the organizer of meals and everything food related.  She was THERE all the time - like one of the family.

she has let me cry on her shoulder
she has laughed with me until we almost pee our pants
she has been "Howad" to my "Fronk"  in weddings, banquets, parties, retreats, and productions
she has been a second mom to my children
she has pushed me to go see the doctor when I really needed to

she is an inspiration in every way.

she was diagnosed with a disease that stole her father from her much too early.  I would have crumbled, but she has shown strength.
she accepts every challenge with grace and peace

her relationship with Jesus is real and exciting

I do adore this woman.

I love you dear Reenie!



Thursday, 3 November 2011

Day 3 - Something I never leave the house without


* cell phone x 2
* keys with swipe card
* LUG bag

Yes - 2 cell phones.  The red one is my personal phone.  It is the cell that keeps me connected to my family and friends.  The many ringtones on it coincide with whoever is calling me.  My kids ring tone is Stewie Griffin saying "Mom, Mom, Mama, Ma, Mommy, Mom,....."  It is full of other fun stuff like Facebook, games, and movie listings.  The black phone is all business - my connection to my life in that beautiful place called the dorm.

The lanyard holds 10 various keys to my many locks and doors as well as my dorm swipe card.  The swipe card is kind of ratty.  I got it in 2009 but I get so attached to them that I just don't want a new one at the end of the year.  It is held together with duct tape.  I will be sad when it finally wears out.

My LUG bag has come with me to Colombia 3 times.  It holds my computer and phones and keys and daytimer and everything I need.  I bought it originally because Oprah said it was one of her favorite things - even got the same color as she had.  She was right.  It's pretty fabulous.

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

30 Days Hath November

I am a sucker for these things, so when I saw on dear Alicia's blog that she was following this, I just had to follow - being the sheep that I am.  If you want to see the list it is on this great blog... http://www.sofawned.com/   Join in the fun if you dare!  Some dorm girls are taking up the challenge so this should be lots of fun!

Here is the next 30 days -  well 29 - since I am starting a day late...so today there is 2 entries in 1

DAY 1... Self Portrait.


DAY 2...Three Inspired Quotes

" Love is a feeling of intimate belonging"   Haley Adkins

" I like you and I'm not even on drugs"  Cassandra Dobson

" I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only 
make sense in reverse"  Philip Yancey



Tuesday, 1 November 2011

my little monsters

so I have this "thing"

I noticed it some time this summer.  It was in the back yard and I was playing with the dogs - laying on my stomach while they jumped all over my head and back.

I thought, "what am I laying on...a football?"  I rolled over to see what was wedged between me and the ground and saw ... nothing

well that's weird.

I eventually made my way to the doctor and after weeks of waiting and being freaked by Google and WebMD, I have been diagnosed with fibroids.

2 fibroids to be exact.

I asked the doctor exactly how big are they.  He gave me the measurements - in centimeters.  Might as well been in Greek.  He recognized the ignorance immediately and replied, "the small one is the size of an orange and the bigger one is the size of a canteloup"

an orange and a canteloup...

Seriously - why do they talk in fruit??

The horrified look on my face must have been transparent as the doctor then drew me a picture.  He first drew a uterus... a longish oval.  He then drew two large head looking appendages on the top of the longish oval.  As I sat there processing this all, a picture popped into my head.

This is that picture...


Yes, this is the two-headed monster from Sesame Street.  Just picture the one on the right to be bigger - like a melon sized monster head.  I have named them.  The little one is Hester and the big one is Rex.

Eventually the monster will have to be removed.  Yes, a hysterectomy...hence the monster names...Hester-Rex-tomy.  I know, it's a stretch, but that's how I roll.  I name everything.

A few weeks ago I was not as "okay" with all of this.  I was so scared.  As I mentioned, I had the worst case scenario running marathons in my head.  I was faced with the possibility that this was actually going to kill me.  It truly was a monster - and not a cute fuzzy one either.  It forced me to really think about my life.  This whole year of turning 50 has had me thinking, but this was different.  I was faced with the possibility of doing things for the last time.

- last Christmas
- last Colombia trip
- last production

How did I really want to spend my "lasts".  I wanted to make sure that they all really counted for something. Now that I am relatively confident that these monsters are fixable, should I really think any different?  None of us really know how many beats our heart has left in it...how many breaths remain.

So Hester and Rex have been a bit of a wake up call.  Me and the monsters are going to live life bigger...like canteloup size.


Monday, 24 October 2011

coming home

in a funk...
down in the dumps...
singin' the blues...
depressed...

all of the above.

I admit it - I have been on a bit of a pity trip lately.  Suitcase packed full of fear, frustration, need for vengeance, anxiety, tears, angry words, bitter thoughts...  Hardly space in there for anything else.

Well, it's time to come home.   I have seen the sights of that deep dark place, bought a few souvenirs, and have just decided that I have had enough.  It hasn't been a pleasant trip, as you can imagine, but I really need to get back to that good place in my life.

I thought that I had no control over "things" in my life.  That's simply not true.  I figured out that the "things" are monsters because of my choice to make them that in my life.  My attitude is what controls the effect those things have on me.

So, tonight, as I climb off the jet of wallowing, I am choosing to alter my attitude and many of my actions.

How?, you ask...

Well... here are a few things on the list...

* take better care of body (get back to Curves, start going to Fitness Friendsy, eat more thoughtfully, take my vitamins, follow doctor's orders, slow down and take some deep breaths)

* take better care of my mind (shut off the TV, cut back on Facebook - especially the places that are destroying me inside out, read more)

* take better care of my family  (be less distracted, tell them how much I love them, pray for them, give more time to them)

* take better care of my soul  (pray much more, worry much less, spend more time figuring out what God is saying rather than what I am feeling, notice God in the moments of my life and give Him credit when I do)

I do have some specific goals, but I'm too chicken to be that transparent to the world wide web.  Let's just say that I plan to get noticed for the changes that I really want to make.

So, here we go...the flight has just touched down and we are taxi-ing to the terminal.  I can hardly wait to get my feet on the ground of home...





Thursday, 13 October 2011

these are the best of times, these are the worst of times...



pretty much sums up these days of my life.  It seems like there are many things happening all at once - some good, but too many...well, not so good.  There have been moments where curling up in the fetal position seems like a really good idea -
but then I realize that this solution is really no solution at all.  


The past three weeks have been...challenging... in so many ways.  
financial - family - health ... all taking a bit of a hit. 


 - fear - anxiety  - frustration...seem to be the easiest way to deal with it, 


but then I am reminded by things like this...




be still...


uffda - that is very hard for me.  I like to fix and fuss and fight.  Being still is not in my nature. 


Today when I was having some quiet moments (well...the room was quiet - my spirit was pretty much having a 2 year old's temper tantrum) I heard this song start to play on my playlist from my computer.  


It is written and sung by a friend that attended PBI a few years back.  These words were a welcomed sigh to my restless spirit.  





...for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. 
 Plans to give you a hope and a future...
Jeremiah 29:11


Tuesday, 20 September 2011

My how times have changed...

In keeping with my promise to be a little lighter this post, I share with you part of one of those emails that people send.  You know - the ones where they forget to blind carbon copy everyone's email addresses and then proceed to send it to every person in the universe...resulting in a whole new onslaught of  "male enhancement aid" products sent to your inbox.

Anyways, I got these from such email and thought they were worth a grin or giggle...