Tuesday, 1 November 2011

my little monsters

so I have this "thing"

I noticed it some time this summer.  It was in the back yard and I was playing with the dogs - laying on my stomach while they jumped all over my head and back.

I thought, "what am I laying on...a football?"  I rolled over to see what was wedged between me and the ground and saw ... nothing

well that's weird.

I eventually made my way to the doctor and after weeks of waiting and being freaked by Google and WebMD, I have been diagnosed with fibroids.

2 fibroids to be exact.

I asked the doctor exactly how big are they.  He gave me the measurements - in centimeters.  Might as well been in Greek.  He recognized the ignorance immediately and replied, "the small one is the size of an orange and the bigger one is the size of a canteloup"

an orange and a canteloup...

Seriously - why do they talk in fruit??

The horrified look on my face must have been transparent as the doctor then drew me a picture.  He first drew a uterus... a longish oval.  He then drew two large head looking appendages on the top of the longish oval.  As I sat there processing this all, a picture popped into my head.

This is that picture...


Yes, this is the two-headed monster from Sesame Street.  Just picture the one on the right to be bigger - like a melon sized monster head.  I have named them.  The little one is Hester and the big one is Rex.

Eventually the monster will have to be removed.  Yes, a hysterectomy...hence the monster names...Hester-Rex-tomy.  I know, it's a stretch, but that's how I roll.  I name everything.

A few weeks ago I was not as "okay" with all of this.  I was so scared.  As I mentioned, I had the worst case scenario running marathons in my head.  I was faced with the possibility that this was actually going to kill me.  It truly was a monster - and not a cute fuzzy one either.  It forced me to really think about my life.  This whole year of turning 50 has had me thinking, but this was different.  I was faced with the possibility of doing things for the last time.

- last Christmas
- last Colombia trip
- last production

How did I really want to spend my "lasts".  I wanted to make sure that they all really counted for something. Now that I am relatively confident that these monsters are fixable, should I really think any different?  None of us really know how many beats our heart has left in it...how many breaths remain.

So Hester and Rex have been a bit of a wake up call.  Me and the monsters are going to live life bigger...like canteloup size.


5 comments:

Christy said...

Will be praying!

Kmarie said...

Wise and heartfelt. I do feel that anxiety though for anything medical...it always is a little bit fearful...yet you courageously pull through with grace. I hope everything goes well. I am glad you caught it.

wil said...

Is it weird to say I'm glad it's fibroids? I mean, in light of what it could have been... I mean... well... I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief and saying a prayer in the same breath.

The Tea Bag said...

Hester and Rex
HesterRex
Hysterics
his tricks -
star of the mo[u]rning
orange monster:
Boo

But ...

Hester and Rex
Hester-Rex-tomy
Star King, to me

Morning Star
Follow
His star

Gifts:
Gold
Myrrh
Canteloup?

Trust ...
follow ...
home by another way
relief
real life
joy
[ecstasy]:
exteRrsHe to me

Sheila said...

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I too am glad that it was much less serious than it could have been.

And Karyn...your words are like a song to my soul - thank you!