Tuesday, 8 January 2013

...just like her

Walking through my favorite grocery store today for 10% Tuesday, I was happy to see and talk to so many friends, looking for the same bargains.  I find that if you do your shopping before 11 am, the crowd is a more "mature" one, so it is easier to forgo the screaming children pushing those mini ramming carts into the backs of your heels.

As I wandered through the aisles, chatting with some dear older ones, my last conversation made the deepest impact.  Standing in line at the checkout, a friend of my parents lined up behind me.  After the usual small talk she said, "You just remind me so much of your Mom...her smile, her laugh and the way she made you feel so special".

Just like her...

This is not the first time I've heard it.  It happens all the time.  Many years ago, it didn't make me so happy to hear it, but today it was a gift.

Today it made me blink back the tears until I was in the solitude of my car.

I drove from the IGA parking lot toward the west and turned into the tree surrounded sacred space where we laid her 10 years ago.

10 years.

A decade

I can't believe it has really been that long.  In some ways it seems to have gone so quickly, but then I think of the events that she has missed and it has been a lifetime.

graduations, weddings, births, funerals, birthdays, Christmas's, everydays...

I stood by her grave this morning and thought about those dark days 10 years ago...her sudden illness...icu...singing endless songs by her bedside...so many tears...saying goodbye.   I remember thinking that life would never be the same again.  And it wasn't.  I still wonder how things would be if she was still here.

but she's not...
but she is

She lives on in...
my toothy smile
my loud laugh
my love for people
my passion for my family
my faith.

She gave me those things to live with until the end of my days.  The perfect gift.

At Christmas time I took a picture of Alyssa looking through a box of old treasures, and I put it on Instagram.  So many people commented on how much she was like me.  (I told her that I was very sorry for that.)

It has now made me stop and reflect on the traits that I have been blessed with by my Mom, I can't help but pray that they don't stop with me, but live on in my children and their children.

Mom didn't leave me with huge piles of money or cases of jewels, but she left riches that are immeasurable.

Her legacy lives on in a smile, laughter, friendship, love and faith.

And those things last forever.

Thanks Mom...I love you!