My Colombia

Just in case you didn't know... I really love this place

 It is hard to put into words what it is that has endeared this country to my heart.  So instead I will share some pictures of my first few days...

The Stuff -
    I love to shop, and to be able to go and buy stuff as gifts for the different organizations in Colombia is SO much fun - in fact, it is much more fun than buying for myself because I know how much good it will do for these people with so little.  A box of crayons, a rolling pin and a stack of construction paper seems like peanuts to us, but so precious to these.

First Impressions -
   I remember well the first time I came to Colombia and landed at this very door of our home for 10 days, only to find ourselves locked out.  We were a little freaked out to say the least.  Well, this year, we were back at this guest house and ... yup - were locked out.  This time the panic was not as severe - at least in me, but I did enjoy the "deer in the headlights" looks on the faces of others.

Familiar faces -
    To see the smiling faces of those that have become good friends over the last 4 years is such an amazing feeling.  Evencio has been our driver for the past 3 years, but unfortunately wasn't able to do it this year. I was so glad to at least be able to see him.

Little faces -
   Looking into the eyes of these sweet ones, is bitter sweet.  I can't help but fall in love with these kids and even consider the notion of smuggling one of them home in my suitcase.  They have a hard time understanding why you can't talk to them, but eventually they rely on the universal language of love and all is good.

The food -
    This is from one of the coolest restaurants in the world - La Mazorca - an outdoor barbeque restaurant that serves up grilled...beef, chicken, corn, non-descript meat stuffed in pig intestines, arepas, fresh salsa and guacamole.  So good - well, except for the pig intestine part...

My new house -
   Last year I saw this sign on this house down in the valley below La Mazorca and I told Dan we should buy it.  Well, it's still for sale!!  It's a sign I tell you!  I think it would be great to live here in the winter and just have some of our Colombian friends stay here the rest of the year to look after it!  After I win the lottery of course...




This is my Colombia.

Colombia - the prelude

26 hours...

In 26 hours I will be strapped into my puny little blue vinyl seat, embarking on the first miles of my pilgrimage back to a country that has become like a second home to me.  I remember so well 4 years ago when I first was presented with the crazy idea to take a bunch of kids to this mysterious land.  Every one I told just looked at me like I was nuts.  I mean really - didn't you watch Blow or Collateral Damage or Romancing the Stone??  This is a DANGEROUS place!!

That's what I thought ... until I got there.  Within the first 24 hours the beauty of that country became so evident.  Colombia's richest resource is its people.  I have never met a group of people that were warmer and showed love to strangers so effortlessly.  We were welcomed into homes, fed until we could barely move,  hugged, and kissed constantly.  These people that have so little, give and give to those of us that have so much.

I love this place. 

 Although I will be doing the official team blog on the PCA website, this will be "my space" to show you MY Colombia.  Stay tuned and fasten your seatbelts!

Hasta luego!

What is Love?

I get a daily email that includes a joke or "hmmm" thought, and I really like the one that came today.  Gearing up for Valentines, I wanted to share it with you.  Out of the mouths of babes...

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4-8 year olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.   See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore so my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8.

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka - age 6

"There are two kinds of love, Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny - age 8

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt." Chris - age 7

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 5

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 

he completes me

I know, I know - I hear the resounding echo of gagging noises from some of you.... but bear with me.  I am feeling kind of *sigh* right now.

I have loved this man since about this time in 1985.  Our courtship was not a lengthy one - much to the concern of many in this community - like Marc Reed, who after hearing the news of our engagement uttered, and I quote, "Good Lord, she must be pregnant!" 

Our first "date" was out by the railroad tracks at about 3 am.  I was perched between Nathan Jenkins and my beloved in the front seat of Dabner's station wagon.  We were looking for a man made comet that was supposed to be appearing somewhere in the northern sky on that cold cold night on December 26, 1984.  My first impression was - "this guy is a lot of fun".  I was right.  He is a lot of fun.  248 days later - he became my husband.  Not saying that there weren't some days that I considered homicide as an option - but he has really made my life better.

Although I have dozens of stories to validate these statements, but this is the most recent one - ergo - my *sigh* state of being.

It has been my deepest desire to get a Mustang Convertible for my 50th birthday.  Some say it's a mid-life crisis - I just look at it as a symbol of my life after 50 - sweet, fast and fun.  Anyways, I have been looking on Kijiji and newspapers and Buy and Sell boards for the perfect car.  Well - eureka!  Dan found it on Kijiji a couple of weeks ago.  One of those "too good to be true" kind of deals.  Right color, right accessories, and right price - Oh what a right price.  Dan called and left 3 messages with the dude selling MY car....no returned calls.  I accepted that this wasn't the one and then...Monday there is a message on our voice mail - the car selling dude was in Maui and just got back to dozens of calls - Dan's being the FIRST one left....

After phonecalls, faxes and the like - I am now the proud owner of a gun-metal grey, 40th Anniversary edition, Mustang convertible!!  

Now, that was really sweet of him to do the calling etc...but here is where his absolute greatness comes in.  We needed to come up with a down payment for car.  Being that it is January 26 and it has been a month and a half since my last paycheck - the wallet is a little thin right now.  I scraped and scrounged and came up with some cash - but then today at noon my dearly beloved went to his night table and pulled out 5 crisp US $100 bills and handed it to me.  I almost fell over dead - which wouldn't have been good considering I am getting my car today.  You see, I married a bit of a tight wad.  I am the spender - he is the hoarder.  It is a good relationship...balanced and all.  But for him to hand over his cash - most likely ear-marked for a new bow, or gun or fly rod, or some other such nonsense - that was a HUGE deal.  

he is just the best.

he completes me

(The song playing is the one that plays when he calls me from home or his cell.  It always makes me smile)

The life of a compulsive person...

I thought it would be a great idea...at the time. 


I am a compulsive person. 


I think there needs to be a support group for people like me.  A place where I could come up with those brilliant thoughts ... mull them over for a minute or two - THEN decide if they truly are genius or just... not.


Well, again, I have had one of those lightbulb moments and rather than just stewing it over in my brain - I go and put it out there.  I am speaking of my plan to celebrate 2011 every day.  Ah, I know, you are saying - what's wrong with that?  We should celebrate something every day.  Okay - then YOU try it.  


I made a personal...and public (through this wonderful fishbowl called a Blog) commitment to a year long party in the hood, but the problem is - I have found out that that is not really what happens.  I have found out that I kind of like to vent via my facebook status - alot.  So you can imagine my frustration as I sit - fingers poised - ready to strike the keys with the venom of a poisonous viper, only to remember that I have to somehow coin the deepest feelings in my heart in a phrase that begins with...


Sheila Hanson Adkins celebrates...


dang!  


It's limiting.  So you might have noticed that my status changes are fewer and farther between than usual.  The thought of recanting has crossed my mind more times than you can imagine, but being the stubborn person that I am - I won't.  And I feel like somehow, God wants to teach me something through this little year long challenge.


There is another problem that I have realized through this.  I was not the first person to do this exercise in positivity.  My friend Sandra did this last year for her 4th decade celebration.  She went through some pretty hellish moments through that year.  I thought of that when I started, but foolishly felt that it wouldn't happen to me.  Well, since that time I have been plagued with fear that something bad is going to happen.  To my kids, my family, my health, my husband... my dog.  I hate this fear.


We have been going to Red Deer to Crossroad Church on a more regular basis the past year.  Our kids have found this church and as part of our connection with our kids, we have been going to church there with them.  It is my dream church.  The music is unlike any I have EVER heard - not too contemporary-touchie-feelie-flag-waving-repeat-one-phrase-for-three-minutes kind of stuff, and not the old school worship either.  It's nice.  But what is really great is Pastor Dan.  He seems to speak straight to my heart.  I feel like we are talking over a chai latte - not with the other 2000 people around us.  


Today he started a series on Job.  If you have an issue with fear of having bad things happen to you - Job is a challenging person to study.  I think I started crying while he read the first chapter.  I had this overwhelming feeling (again) that I was about to face the life of Job in my own life...most currently - I felt that my number one son - who was on his way home from a ski trip - was going to be in a horrific car crash and I was going to lose him...all pointing back to this whole "year of celebration" stupid vow I had made.  As the tears ran down my face, I heard catastrophe on catastrophe that struck Job and thought of my own "sheep, camels, oxen, donkeys and children" that I was so afraid to have to face losing.  I kept thinking - I just know I couldn't handle that and isn't there a verse somewhere that says that God won't give you any more than you can handle?  It gave me a glimmer of hope.  Until... Pastor Dan said that God never said that He wouldn't give you any more than you can handle....


dang!


He would never give you more than HE can handle.  There go the tears again.  Well, God and I had this little battle inside my spirit.  As the service drew to a close and the battle waged, I prayed, "please don't sing Blessed Be Your Name for a closing song.  Yup, you guessed it - that was the song.  My constricted throat prevented me from singing the first verse. 


but then something happened... I gave up.  I gave up my number one son, my sweet daughter, my loving husband, my amazing family, my healthy albeit out of shape body, my career, my money, my sheep, camels, oxen, donkeys and even my Lucy.  


you give and take away
you give and take away
my heart will CHOSE to say
Lord, blessed be Your name.


As I write this, I am struck by the fear that I am compulsively putting it out there again for all the world to see and witness my possible failure in this little celebratory year - but I think that I am a little more ready for whatever is in store.  


Not hoping for Job's life - but with a little less fear...

the monsters we have created

       For the past 24 or so hours there has been an uprising among my friends and others through Facebook, blogs and other virtual battlefields.  It all comes from a most disturbing display of "humour" through a set homemade greeting cards that are listed for sale on Etsy.  Now, I like Etsy.  Some of my friends have their beautifully crafted handwork on there.  There is nothing better than spending an evening browsing the stores of jewelry, home decor, clothing and other fun stuff.  Etsy offers a wonderful service for these creative souls to display and sell their works of art.
       Yesterday I saw the UGLY of Etsy.  There is an individual that has decided that his contribution to this great sales space is greeting cards that he believes are funny for awkward situations.  Situations like finding out you have breast cancer, having a child with Down's Syndrome, or getting raped.  Yea, really funny.  He also has decided that Jesus Christ is another worthwhile target to mock.  
       My first reaction to this was the usual one for me... freak out.  I wanted this guy stopped and brought to justice...boycott, email campaign, media outrage...whatever it would take.  I have read hundreds of comments, letters and opinions - on both sides of the debate.   From this I have come to one conclusion...


we have created a monster


       If you watch tv or movies - especially comedies - you can rarely find one that doesn't offend a culture, disability, faith, or sex.  It seems to be believed by the masses that if the outcome is a smile, giggle or laugh - then it's okay to be offensive or mean.  That makes me so very very sad. 
      But we let it happen.  Someone commented on the Etsy Facebook site that things like the sentiments on the card are regular occurrences on shows like Family Guy and Southpark.  Even Glee has recently contained some things that I have had to stop and say "wait a minute - that's not right".  We are becoming more and more de-sensitized to the mean-ness going on all around us.  Then today - when something is so blatantly offensive - the reaction is huge.  But why don't we react to the more subtle instances of nastiness.  
        I don't stand against comments from ignorant people.  I'm not comfortable with confrontation of mean-ness in others. I'm definitely not comfortable with confrontation of mean-ness in myself.  I would rather ignore it because it doesn't hurt me.  Now I have found out differently.  It has hurt me.  It has hurt our whole society.  We are a nasty human race.  Sure at Christmas we are all about the good cheer and happy holidays - but come Boxing Day - we go back to every man for himself.   (...actually I found that yesterday in the Bower Mall parking lot there was very little good cheer)
  

I'm not sure how to change that.  Have we gone so far that we can't bring back politeness and respect for people?  Is there any way that common decency and courtesy can come back into fashion to replace the ugliness that has taken over our world?


Something to think about... 

A New Challenge for an Old Broad

As you may have noticed, my blog has taken on the theme of aging - which I suppose demonstrates where my head is at these days.  I have never been affected by my advancing years, but for some reason, this milestone has crept into my thoughts more and more.  It isn't that I'm fighting the inevitable.  It's just that I am amazed at how fast 50 years sped by and I'm kind of reflecting on what I've done that has made a difference in this world.  I know that I keep a busy and full life, but I have not been very good at celebrating those things.


I have a friend that turned 40 this past April.  She is one of my heroes.  She is beautiful and smart and brave and just plain fabulous (and she has GREAT shoes).  At the start of 2010 - the year she turned 40 - she decided to start documenting her "Year of Celebrating".  Every day her Facebook status was a statement of celebration.  No complaints or b!tc#ing about traffic, work or bad hair days.  Instead she finds things in the ordinary that truly bring joy.  Now, you might think that wouldn't be too hard.  For most of us, no it wouldn't - but for some reason, God decided to send her the trials of Job this past year.  She found a dream job, lost that dream job, watched her sweet mom suffer with cancer until her last breath, - and to top it all off - moved to Saudi Arabia to teach Saudi princesses.  (okay, that last one wasn't a trial - but definitely a challenge!)  I was inspired by her lack of defeat throughout all of these and many other difficult moments, hours and days.  I'm pretty sure that many of those days held little to celebrate, and yet, she did it.


I want to face my 50th year that way.  I want to be that kind of an Old Broad.  I love parties so what better way to hit this milestone than to celebrate something every day for a whole year.  So, with the permission of my dear friend - I am going to plagiarize her incredible idea.  I want to only post celebratory moments, every day - even in the crappiest situations.  I want to find the moments to commemorate as times of joy.  I've asked Dan for a new camera for Christmas, so I would like to pictorially document some of those times.  Then, on the 18th of every month of 2011 - I will have a party of some kind.  As I look through the calender and see some of the pre-existing appointments on there, I can see that some of those celebrations will be pretty cool - like one in Bogota, Colombia in February, or one at post-production of Guys & Dolls in April.  I can hardly wait.  Then there are the things that only God knows that aren't on my calender that I can't plan on.  Things like pain, and loss and change and disappointments.   Those I'm not so psyched about - but I want to be able to find glimpses of joy in those things too.


Let the celebrations begin!

(Thanks Sandra, for inspiring me to live my life celebrating.  Here's to your last month of the "year of fabulousness"...  Love you!)

22 years ago

As I sit here in my nice soft easy chair, my memory transports me back to 22 years ago.  It was the night of the Federal election and Prime Minister Brian Mulroney was voted in for a second term of office.  Strange that I know that because at the time I really couldn't give a rip.  I was in a sweet little hospital in the village of Elnora giving birth to my "first" baby.  I put that in quotes because technically I was the means to another couple having a baby 7 years before that... but that is a whole other blog topic still to come - stay tuned....  anyways - I digress... Dan and I were pretty excited about this baby.  I had gone through 2 miscarriages leading up to that, so this delivery was a bit of a sigh after a long time of holding our breath.  Shortly before midnight and about 12 good long hours of labour, we were toasting (with orange juice and gingerale - a Dr. Witham tradition) the arrival of Alyssa Julia - weighing in at 8 lbs 1 oz - screaming her head off.


Unfortunately this screaming continued for a while, as she decided that life on the outside was not really what she expected.  I can't remember ever being diagnosed with post partum depression - I don't think it had been invented yet, but I do remember that I was pretty miserable.  I felt like she hated me.  I would spend my days trying to make her happy, only to be repaid with incessant wails.  Then, my mom, sister, and even Dan, would come and pick her up and she would stop.  I could picture this kind of relationship lasting through out our lives.  This little girl that I wanted so badly would never like me.  Thankfully, this did change and those first few months of colic turned into a distant memory.


Today she turns 22.  She is all grown up.  She has a husband and a mortgage and a life that is independent of me and that is good.  I think we did an okay job as parents.  Not saying that I didn't make a lot of mistakes - like sending her to school with a big ol' batch of chicken pox cause she wanted to stay home because she said she had pimples.  I yelled too much, didn't always listen, often was too busy, said I love you too little...but the funny thing is that she likes me.  All those fears that I had in those first few days when I was doing everything right as a mother - they are gone.  And despite doing so many things wrong as a mother later in her life...she likes me.


I see the relationship that Lys and I have today and I really wish I would have had that with my mom.  Don't get me wrong, I love my mom dearly, but I don't think I would consider her my friend or someone that I confided things too.  I'm not sure why.  I think it was because I chose not to, so I can't hold her responsible.  That makes me sad.  People say that it's not good to be friends with your kids.  Don't listen to them.


Happy birthday my sweet Alyssa.  I love you!
Mommy

Time warp

Yesterday I helped celebrate or mourn the demise of a dear friend's youth.  Yes, she turned 50.  Another one bites the dust and with that looms that day in the not too distant future when I, too, shall cross over.  I grew up seeing people turn 50 and they were stinkin' old!  Can that really be me?  Soon, I will be able to collect the senior's discount at many stores.  I will be able to get Grey Power insurance, and those life insurance ads - the ones were you don't need a medical - yup, available to me.  It makes my head spin.   Wasn't it just yesterday that I had Donny Osmond posters in my Pepto Bismol pink bedroom?  ...that I was learning to drive a stick shift? ...that I was sneaking out my window to meet up with that rapscallion boyfriend?  I'm pretty sure it was.  What the heck happened?  I feel like I have gone through a time warp and I am seeing myself in the future like some lame Star Trek movie.


It's funny, because I really don't feel almost 50 (however that is supposed to feel).  I have fooled myself into thinking that I don't look 50 - although I keep wondering whose neck that is attached to my head...shudder....I certainly don't act almost 50.  My past job entailed spending a lot of time with teenage girls and they have a funny way of rubbing off on you.  I have a daughter that has made it her mission in life to make sure that I don't dress 50... for which I am thankful.


So this leads me to believe that I can't really be almost 50...or...this is the new and improved 50.  The 50 that feels comfortable in her own skin - but sensible enough to stay away from mini skirts and Go-Go boots...  the 50 that feels more passionately about her husband than ever- even with all the years and extra flubber (mine - not his) after 25 years of only being in each other's arms...  the 50 that isn't afraid to do things that might just break a hip... the 50 that has learned how to love with grace because she has been given plenty of that in her 50 years.  Yea, I guess this 50 looks pretty dang good.


Bring it on!


(But I really need to stop using words like "rapscallion"... dead give-away...)

50 Things...

I am the most unorganized person in the universe.  There...I said it.  I admit it and I am seeking help for this condition that seems to be quite terminal.  At this point in my life, to become organized is a less-than-likely probability, so I will embrace my cluttered life, my dust bunnies, and my inability to lay hands on what I need at any given moment.  Many people comment on how I am similar to my Mom.  Well, when it comes to the neatness, organized side - we could not be more un-alike.  She would become quite hot and bothered over her "mess" - which consisted of 3 dirty dishes in the sink and the Calgary Herald out of the magazine rack.  My Dad used to say that he didn't want to get up in the night to go to the bathroom, because he was afraid of coming back to find the bed already made.


I am not my mother (at least in that way).  My bed is in a permanent state of "unmade-ness".  My sink is full of dishes on a regular basis.  I have piles and stacks everywhere.  I watch TLC's "Hoarders" so that I can feel good about myself once in a while (however, my dearly beloved has been known to utter statements like "That's YOU! " while watching with me - actually this only happened once as he now knows better than that!).


Anyways... all this to say - somewhere in this existence in chaos, I have lost my car keys.  I had them one day then didn't.  I have looked in all the usual places and have come up with nothing but the realization that I need to get more organized.  In my quest for order - and looking for my elusive car keys - I have dug through some of the clutter and found a plethora (great word, eh?) of journals, each with about 4 to 5 days of entries - because I am clearly not organized enough to assemble a train of thought on a regular basis.  As I looked through the events that merited chronicling, I found one entry from 10 years ago.  I was on the 'eve of my youth - days before turning 40, dealing with all the emotions surrounding what I believed to be my twilight years, I turned my thoughts to the things I still wanted to do, see and accomplish.  I made a list of 50 things - a kind of bucket list - that I hoped to do in the next 10 years.  Like so many other articles (like my car keys) it got lost in the stuff until today.  Here is my list...


50 things...
1.  Still be married to the one I love and make sure he knows it. - check
2.  Work at a job I have passion for - check
3.  Be friends with my kids - check
4.  Preach a sermon - check - in PCA chapel
5.  Get a motorcycle licence -
6.  Get a tattoo - check
7.  Go on a cruise - check - California/Baja  - Jan 2006
8.  Take a missions trip with Dan - check - Colombia Feb 2010
9.  Jump a train...albeit a slow one...to the next stop
10.  Be speeding ticket free - hahaha - by the skin of my teeth and lots of charm!
11.  Go to Hawaii - check - August 2008 & Sept 2010
12.  Travel to Europe - going to Germany in March 2011
13.  Read through the Bible - sigh...getting there
14.  Eat sushi - check- Nighs took the PCAS staff out toSushi King at Paul's retirement
15.  Drink a cup of coffee - check - first and only in Colombia Feb 2008
16.  Take a belly dance lessons
17.  Own a sports car - preferably a convertible  - pending - 50th Birthday present July 2011
18.  Find Amanda - check - daughter I gave up for adoption - found March 2002 - aka Amy :)
19.  Go to the Grand Canyon
20.  Paint and frame a masterpiece
21.  Raid a garden in the middle of the night and eat stolen peas
22.  Write a book
23.  Spend a whole day at a spa
24.  Scrapbook my life
25.  Learn how to make lefsa like my mom - check - but not till she died unfortunately
26. Drive a bus -  check - got my bus licence for PCA
27. Be content in whatever state I am - check - most days anyways  ;)
28. Jump off a cliff - check - same time I did #45
29. Learn sign language
30. Drive across Canada
31. Watch the sun set then rise without sleeping in between
32. Go to a major league baseball game  - check - Padres game -April 24, 2011
33. Be a Grandma - but a cool one - check - to Isaac & Silas
34. Take an overnight canoe trip
35. Go one week without TV  - check- the first week of Guys and Dolls
36. Be a red head
37. Skinny dip
38. Toilet paper a house
39. Make a quilt
40. Do a "personal" photo shoot ;o)
41. Sleep under the stars - check - many times with my kids on the trampoline
42. Tell a stranger about Jesus - check - explaining to someone #6
43. Sing on top of a mountain
44. Swim in a waterfall
45. Go white water rafting - check - with Sr class 2006, 2008, 2009
46. Learn to kick box
47. Stay in a Fantasy room at WEM
48. Read the Hobbit (changed this now to watch all LOTR movies without falling asleep)
49. Visit Muli, my Compassion Child - in Kenya
50. Live without regrets - in process


So, without even referring to this list for the last almost 10 years, I have actually been able to check off 19 things.  I'm hoping to get more crossed off in the next 262 days...unless I misplace the list.

its quiet...too quiet

It's funny how so often in my life I would ask my kids for just a little peace and quiet.  "Can you please turn that music down?"  "Do you really have to play hockey in the house?"  "Stop fighting!"    I longed for the days that I could hear myself think.  I have those days now.  As I sit here the only sound is the clicking of my keyboard and a hollow tick-tock of the clock on the wall.  It has been a year now with just the two of us.  There are things that I really really like...no, not being able to walk naked around the house - although that is most likely one of Dan's perks.  It is nice having drama free conversations on a regular basis.  I like eating cereal for supper sometimes ... just because we can.  I like being two.    The things I don't like is the missing laughter or jokes.  I miss playing games and movie nights - especially the chick flick marathons.  And I kind of miss the sound of distant gun fire and explosions bleeding through the walls from some ridiculously violent xbox game.

We spend so much time, energy and cash on these little critters and just when you get to the point that you really really like them - they leave.  Doesn't seem quite right - but then again it does.  Its an investment that if tended carefully, yields greatly.  Sure they are gone and on their own - starting their own little nests, but being able to see them succeed - and even sometimes fail, but get back up - is such an amazing thing to watch.  I made a million and two mistakes as a mom but somehow it seemed to work out okay.  They are terrific human beings, making an impact in a world that has chosen them. 

So many of my friends are in those crazy noisy years.  I love to follow their journeys through Facebook statuses, pictures and blogs.  It makes me nostalgic and sad and happy all at the same time.  It got quiet too fast...but there is always GRANDKIDS!!!  Bring it on! 

Fairy Tales

When I was little I always dreamed of one day being Cinderella. When I was up to my elbows in a sink full of dishes, or scrubbing out a bathtub, I believed that I already was - but I thought it would be wonderful to have a Fairy God Mother that would take me from rags to a glorious gown, that I would meet and fall in love with Prince Charming and live happily ever after. Sweet dream.
This week I am actually acting in "Cinderella"...as the Wicked step Sister. Not quite the beautiful little princess, but oh so much more fun!
Thinking about my fairy tale dream, I have realized that the script may not be the same as what the brothers Grimm penned centuries ago, but the outcome is pretty similar. My Prince Charming? - a handsome redhead named Dan that swept me off my feet 22 years ago. My Fairy God Mother? - a Heavenly Father that uses much more power than a million magic wands can hold. Do dreams really come true? You bet!

Week of Goodbyes...

This week I attended 2 funerals. I hate funerals and usually try to avoid them, but these were two that I really couldn't. Both were for women of great worth... those real Proverbs 31 variety.


On Monday I went to Bow Island to say goodbye to my most favorite Auntie Marion. When I was little I informed my parents that when they died I was going to go live with her and Uncle Harry. They were the kind of Uncle and Auntie that made everyone feel that they were their favorite - although I am pretty sure that in reality I am.


I can't really figure out how they became so dear to me because they were missionaries in South America so their days in Canada were pretty limited. But the time that I did spend with them was very precious. I actually went to stay with them for a month when I was 16. I flew all by myself to Caracus, Venezuela and they treated me like royalty. Uncle Harry took me to the beach with a bunch of other missionary kids and he took off his shoes and socks and sat in the shade while we spent the entire day in the water and sand. Auntie packed an amazing picnic for us. I helped them spruce up this house that they lived in on the Orinoco River. It was full of cockroaches and lizzards, but Auntie made it a sweet little place. It was my job to paint baseboards onto the cinderblock walls. I would freak out when a little salamander would run in front of me and leave little black lizzard foot prints up the wall. Uncle and Auntie would just laugh. I also got to visit them when they were in Peru a few years later. I was so blessed to be able to do that.


The other goodbye was for my buddy Shuggy's mommy. I called her mom too. She was one of those kind that it just came natural for everyone to do. She had alzheimers but it didn't change her into a miserable kind of person, but instead into an affectionate one. You couldn't come into the room without a full dose of hugs and kisses. She laughed at our jokes - even the really bad ones. She lit up when you walked into the room. She was an angel of joy... but now she is with Jesus.


These events have made me think about my own Mom. I really miss her. My friend Paula wrote

in her blog that grief is a cloak that we wear for a season. But every once in a while we try it on again to see if it still fits. It has been 4 years since Mom has been gone. That is a lot of denied memories - weddings, graduations, Christmas's. I think the cloak still fits... I love you Mom!

I can't believe I have joined the Bloggers...

I truly never thought that I would ever start one of these things, but I suppose all of us succumb to the desire to have a life exciting enough to reading about. So for those reading, I thank you.


I eagerly anticipate the day that all of my little "charges" leave for Christmas and I get to:
- sleep past 7 am
- shut off my cell phone
- no longer give permissions for everything
- forget about runny noses, diarrhea, coughs, cuts, and broken hearts

Enough about me... on to the things most important to me...

#1 Dan the Man

What a hunk, eh? This is his amazing Mule Deer that he got with his bow this year. He was pretty excited. It measured 172 and three eighths (if you know what that means, then good for you) All I know is that if filled up our freezer quite nicely...ummmmm deer steaks.

We have been together for 21 years and counting. Truly hard to believe. I'm not sure who is the bigger hero - thinkin him...

#2 - Lys the Princess

Yes, our baby girl has graduated from High School and is now at the University of Alberta. Not an easy transition for her or Mom... She has been a little homesick as well as trying to transition from a tiny little Christian School on the Prairies to The Giant Mega-learning facility. It has been a little rough, but she works hard and we are pretty proud of her and her stand for what she believes even though it has cost her some humiliation and a couple bad marks.
She is glad to be half done and is deciding about future plans right now.

#3 - Riley - the Heart-throb

Riley is in Grade 11...yikes!! He spends his

time playing x-box, hockey, quad-ing, hanging out with friends and working at Subway. Once in a while he thinks about school, but that is more thought of as a hinderance to an active social life. He remains single, but I do hear from many girls in the dorm that he is "hot"... hmmm, not really what a mom wants to hear.

Other Important "Family" members

Brandon ...

...has stolen Alyssa's heart (and ours too) and has become a part of the family. He is working right now at Phone Experts and has become an expert navigator of the road between Innisfail and Sherwood Park!

Dexter...

Alyssa decided that she needed to add to the family in the way of a very small Chihuahua that we named Dexter Diablo (Diablo because he is a bit of a demon at times). Training has not always been pleasant... poop ground into the bottom of your feet, etc. But we have fallen in love with the little guy. Even Luke likes him...

So that is us...

Not so exciting, but hey, we're happy and that works out for us pretty good. In days to come I suppose I will wax eloquently, but for today, just wanted to let you know who we are.

God is so good to us. I can't always figure out why. It isn't because we deserve it - just because He's good...

Merry Christmas everyone. Remember to be nice to each other...

Sheels


ps... new addition to the family... Introducing Miss Haley Thulien - soon to be Mrs. Riley Adkins.  We have loved Haley for a long long time, so it is only natural for her to really become one of us.  Welcome Haley!   Sweet days ahead!!