A New Challenge for an Old Broad

As you may have noticed, my blog has taken on the theme of aging - which I suppose demonstrates where my head is at these days.  I have never been affected by my advancing years, but for some reason, this milestone has crept into my thoughts more and more.  It isn't that I'm fighting the inevitable.  It's just that I am amazed at how fast 50 years sped by and I'm kind of reflecting on what I've done that has made a difference in this world.  I know that I keep a busy and full life, but I have not been very good at celebrating those things.


I have a friend that turned 40 this past April.  She is one of my heroes.  She is beautiful and smart and brave and just plain fabulous (and she has GREAT shoes).  At the start of 2010 - the year she turned 40 - she decided to start documenting her "Year of Celebrating".  Every day her Facebook status was a statement of celebration.  No complaints or b!tc#ing about traffic, work or bad hair days.  Instead she finds things in the ordinary that truly bring joy.  Now, you might think that wouldn't be too hard.  For most of us, no it wouldn't - but for some reason, God decided to send her the trials of Job this past year.  She found a dream job, lost that dream job, watched her sweet mom suffer with cancer until her last breath, - and to top it all off - moved to Saudi Arabia to teach Saudi princesses.  (okay, that last one wasn't a trial - but definitely a challenge!)  I was inspired by her lack of defeat throughout all of these and many other difficult moments, hours and days.  I'm pretty sure that many of those days held little to celebrate, and yet, she did it.


I want to face my 50th year that way.  I want to be that kind of an Old Broad.  I love parties so what better way to hit this milestone than to celebrate something every day for a whole year.  So, with the permission of my dear friend - I am going to plagiarize her incredible idea.  I want to only post celebratory moments, every day - even in the crappiest situations.  I want to find the moments to commemorate as times of joy.  I've asked Dan for a new camera for Christmas, so I would like to pictorially document some of those times.  Then, on the 18th of every month of 2011 - I will have a party of some kind.  As I look through the calender and see some of the pre-existing appointments on there, I can see that some of those celebrations will be pretty cool - like one in Bogota, Colombia in February, or one at post-production of Guys & Dolls in April.  I can hardly wait.  Then there are the things that only God knows that aren't on my calender that I can't plan on.  Things like pain, and loss and change and disappointments.   Those I'm not so psyched about - but I want to be able to find glimpses of joy in those things too.


Let the celebrations begin!

(Thanks Sandra, for inspiring me to live my life celebrating.  Here's to your last month of the "year of fabulousness"...  Love you!)

22 years ago

As I sit here in my nice soft easy chair, my memory transports me back to 22 years ago.  It was the night of the Federal election and Prime Minister Brian Mulroney was voted in for a second term of office.  Strange that I know that because at the time I really couldn't give a rip.  I was in a sweet little hospital in the village of Elnora giving birth to my "first" baby.  I put that in quotes because technically I was the means to another couple having a baby 7 years before that... but that is a whole other blog topic still to come - stay tuned....  anyways - I digress... Dan and I were pretty excited about this baby.  I had gone through 2 miscarriages leading up to that, so this delivery was a bit of a sigh after a long time of holding our breath.  Shortly before midnight and about 12 good long hours of labour, we were toasting (with orange juice and gingerale - a Dr. Witham tradition) the arrival of Alyssa Julia - weighing in at 8 lbs 1 oz - screaming her head off.


Unfortunately this screaming continued for a while, as she decided that life on the outside was not really what she expected.  I can't remember ever being diagnosed with post partum depression - I don't think it had been invented yet, but I do remember that I was pretty miserable.  I felt like she hated me.  I would spend my days trying to make her happy, only to be repaid with incessant wails.  Then, my mom, sister, and even Dan, would come and pick her up and she would stop.  I could picture this kind of relationship lasting through out our lives.  This little girl that I wanted so badly would never like me.  Thankfully, this did change and those first few months of colic turned into a distant memory.


Today she turns 22.  She is all grown up.  She has a husband and a mortgage and a life that is independent of me and that is good.  I think we did an okay job as parents.  Not saying that I didn't make a lot of mistakes - like sending her to school with a big ol' batch of chicken pox cause she wanted to stay home because she said she had pimples.  I yelled too much, didn't always listen, often was too busy, said I love you too little...but the funny thing is that she likes me.  All those fears that I had in those first few days when I was doing everything right as a mother - they are gone.  And despite doing so many things wrong as a mother later in her life...she likes me.


I see the relationship that Lys and I have today and I really wish I would have had that with my mom.  Don't get me wrong, I love my mom dearly, but I don't think I would consider her my friend or someone that I confided things too.  I'm not sure why.  I think it was because I chose not to, so I can't hold her responsible.  That makes me sad.  People say that it's not good to be friends with your kids.  Don't listen to them.


Happy birthday my sweet Alyssa.  I love you!
Mommy