July 8....childish

Okay... I know that today is slated to be friendship day but I am changing
The rules. Hey...its my celebration so I can do what I want!

 Deal with it

This day was filled with nostalgia.  Not only am I volunteering some time at PBI's Senior Quest (nostalgia and reminiscing event of the world)  but I also made the journey to Southern Alberta to remember my dear Uncle Harry.   Memorial services are just big family reunions without the potato salad.  It was great to see many of my cousins, aunties and uncles as well as countless other shirt tale relatives that looked really really old.  I kept wondering if they were thinking the same thoughts about me.

Driving to Taber we pass Vauxhall.  Home of millions of memories of my childhood.  My Grandma and Grandpa Johnson lived there pretty much their whole lives, so no summer was complete without a few days enjoying Grandma's incredible food and this sweet little southern Alberta town.

I told Dan we HAD to stop on the way home so that I could get some pictures of the places that I loved.  These are just a few...

...the church that my Dad helped to built...site of MANY anniversary celebrations and summer church services
...the drive in on the highway...best soft icecream anywhere
...Great Grandpa Malmberg's park.  He helped to build the coolest park in the world.  It had HUGE metal swingsets, merry go rounds, a monkey bar elephant, a slide that looked like a light house, a 5 seater horse that rocked back an forth...

As we drove through that town, so many things have changed.  It's different, but the same.  The old metal playground equipment has been replace by "safer" ones, Grandma's house has been replaced by a new little townhouse, the gravel roads are now paved...but when I closed my eyes I could still hear, feel, smell, and taste...

-the squeek of the swing in perfect rhythm going higher and higher and higher
- the slam of the wooden screen door of Grandma's house
- old hymns sung by old saints
- the scalding hot metal of the slide on my backside
- Grandpa Malmberg's whiskers rubbing on my chin in a big hug
- fresh apple pie out of the oven
- the smell of peppermints from Grandpa
- soft ice cream cones melting down my hand faster than I could eat it

ahhh...memories

...so good to go back

July 5th...breakfast

so... this was my breakfast this morning.

actually... THIS was my breakfast before I remembered that today's photo was "breakfast"

I slept in because I had the volume off on my ipod- which was my alarm clock.  I had a meeting at 9:30 and a whiny puppy woke me at 8:45.  A quick shower and slap on the paint and I was ready to go...until... I remembered the photo calendar thing.  The thought to fudge it did cross my mind as I was gulping down my vitamins (and chewing the chewy ones), but then I decided to keep the integrity of the project and "do" breakfast.

Now, I have a bit of a conundrum... (new favorite word)...  I have this sense of needing to be like some of my other blogging amigos that post pictures of exotic and aesthetically appealing food on their blog pages...not mentioning (krista-makiko-erin) names or anything, but it really is a lot of pressure.  Often my breakfast is toast- with plain IGA bread- smothered with Smuckers grape jelly and Jiff peanut butter.

SO not blog cool!

I felt myself break into a cold sweat with this one...crazy.  Anyways, this really is one of my more usual breakfasts on the go.  You can ask the people I work with.  They faithfully tell me that I have blackberry seeds stuck in my teeth on a regular basis.

oh, and the Chai.  I simply just can't live without the Chai.

What a nice start to a great day.  Now I head to Red Deer to enjoy a nice pedicure with my sweet Alyssa...

Life is really good!

July 4...clouds

independence day...

I am married to a good old american boy.  Although he has lived in the true north strong and free for most of his life, his blood still flows red, white and blue.  I celebrate his homeland for him today.

I also celebrate the independence of someone I love dearly.  This afternoon my dear Uncle Harry went to his "homeland" as well.  He has always been my favorite uncle.  I celebrated my 16th birthday in Venezuela and my 21st birthday in Peru with him and my Auntie Marion.

When I was editing the photo of the clouds today I couldn't help but think about his bursting through the clouds to see Jesus for the first time.  What an incredible independence day for him.  He is free of all the pain and hurt of this world.

I love you Uncle Harry!

July 1st... Me

First picture of the month long celebration.  Me and Nika-Lucy's puppy- on Canada's Birthday.  Beautiful, sunny day!

Celebration Time!!!

It's July!!

This is the month that I am going to celebrate every day!  I have so many things to celebrate and I want to share them with the world.  I have been BLESSED with 50 amazing years.  Some of the moments in those years may not have been filled with "peace and love and happy good times" but they have been blessed by the presence of an amazing God and some pretty incredible people.  This is my month to celebrate that.

I have chosen to celebrate with pictures.  Right now there are lots of scavenger hunt photo things on blogs and I LOVE following them.  I have such talented photographer friends that have inspired me.  Although my pictures will never rival the skill of Krista, Melissa, Janine, Loreen, Erin, Bobbi, Jason, Joyce, Stacey...etc (oh mercy, when I make the list I suddenly wonder why in the world I'm doing this)  but oh well- this isn't to impress anyone.  Just to remind myself of how good I have it.  That's easy to forget sometimes.

Anyone that wants to join me, please do.  I would love to see your stuff that you celebrate too.

Here is the list...
July 1- Me
July 2- Feet
July 3- Hands
July 4- Clouds
July 5- Breakfast
July 6- i read
July 7 - Technology
July 8 - Friendship
July 9 - Wrinkles
July 10- Childish things
July 11- Loved
July 12- Energy
July 13- Eyes
July 14- Pretty trash
July 15- Flowers
July 16- Sweet things
July 17- Anticipation
July 18- CELEBRATE!!  (my 50th Birthday!!)
July 19- Pink
July 20 - Fruit
July 21- Summertime
July 22- On the Road
July 23- Little One
July 24- Water
July 25- Bling
July 26 - Trees
July 27 - Words
July 28 - Goodbyes
July 29 - Leisure
July 30 - Comfort food
July 31- Bliss

I will try my best to post every day.  One of the sweet things about this month of celebration is that I am off work the entire time.  Now, this doesn't mean I won't be busy, but I've made a vow to myself to be busy with only things that give me bliss.

So with that, I leave you with two words...

PARTY ON!

The life of a compulsive person...

I thought it would be a great idea...at the time. 


I am a compulsive person. 


I think there needs to be a support group for people like me.  A place where I could come up with those brilliant thoughts ... mull them over for a minute or two - THEN decide if they truly are genius or just... not.


Well, again, I have had one of those lightbulb moments and rather than just stewing it over in my brain - I go and put it out there.  I am speaking of my plan to celebrate 2011 every day.  Ah, I know, you are saying - what's wrong with that?  We should celebrate something every day.  Okay - then YOU try it.  


I made a personal...and public (through this wonderful fishbowl called a Blog) commitment to a year long party in the hood, but the problem is - I have found out that that is not really what happens.  I have found out that I kind of like to vent via my facebook status - alot.  So you can imagine my frustration as I sit - fingers poised - ready to strike the keys with the venom of a poisonous viper, only to remember that I have to somehow coin the deepest feelings in my heart in a phrase that begins with...


Sheila Hanson Adkins celebrates...


dang!  


It's limiting.  So you might have noticed that my status changes are fewer and farther between than usual.  The thought of recanting has crossed my mind more times than you can imagine, but being the stubborn person that I am - I won't.  And I feel like somehow, God wants to teach me something through this little year long challenge.


There is another problem that I have realized through this.  I was not the first person to do this exercise in positivity.  My friend Sandra did this last year for her 4th decade celebration.  She went through some pretty hellish moments through that year.  I thought of that when I started, but foolishly felt that it wouldn't happen to me.  Well, since that time I have been plagued with fear that something bad is going to happen.  To my kids, my family, my health, my husband... my dog.  I hate this fear.


We have been going to Red Deer to Crossroad Church on a more regular basis the past year.  Our kids have found this church and as part of our connection with our kids, we have been going to church there with them.  It is my dream church.  The music is unlike any I have EVER heard - not too contemporary-touchie-feelie-flag-waving-repeat-one-phrase-for-three-minutes kind of stuff, and not the old school worship either.  It's nice.  But what is really great is Pastor Dan.  He seems to speak straight to my heart.  I feel like we are talking over a chai latte - not with the other 2000 people around us.  


Today he started a series on Job.  If you have an issue with fear of having bad things happen to you - Job is a challenging person to study.  I think I started crying while he read the first chapter.  I had this overwhelming feeling (again) that I was about to face the life of Job in my own life...most currently - I felt that my number one son - who was on his way home from a ski trip - was going to be in a horrific car crash and I was going to lose him...all pointing back to this whole "year of celebration" stupid vow I had made.  As the tears ran down my face, I heard catastrophe on catastrophe that struck Job and thought of my own "sheep, camels, oxen, donkeys and children" that I was so afraid to have to face losing.  I kept thinking - I just know I couldn't handle that and isn't there a verse somewhere that says that God won't give you any more than you can handle?  It gave me a glimmer of hope.  Until... Pastor Dan said that God never said that He wouldn't give you any more than you can handle....


dang!


He would never give you more than HE can handle.  There go the tears again.  Well, God and I had this little battle inside my spirit.  As the service drew to a close and the battle waged, I prayed, "please don't sing Blessed Be Your Name for a closing song.  Yup, you guessed it - that was the song.  My constricted throat prevented me from singing the first verse. 


but then something happened... I gave up.  I gave up my number one son, my sweet daughter, my loving husband, my amazing family, my healthy albeit out of shape body, my career, my money, my sheep, camels, oxen, donkeys and even my Lucy.  


you give and take away
you give and take away
my heart will CHOSE to say
Lord, blessed be Your name.


As I write this, I am struck by the fear that I am compulsively putting it out there again for all the world to see and witness my possible failure in this little celebratory year - but I think that I am a little more ready for whatever is in store.  


Not hoping for Job's life - but with a little less fear...

A New Challenge for an Old Broad

As you may have noticed, my blog has taken on the theme of aging - which I suppose demonstrates where my head is at these days.  I have never been affected by my advancing years, but for some reason, this milestone has crept into my thoughts more and more.  It isn't that I'm fighting the inevitable.  It's just that I am amazed at how fast 50 years sped by and I'm kind of reflecting on what I've done that has made a difference in this world.  I know that I keep a busy and full life, but I have not been very good at celebrating those things.


I have a friend that turned 40 this past April.  She is one of my heroes.  She is beautiful and smart and brave and just plain fabulous (and she has GREAT shoes).  At the start of 2010 - the year she turned 40 - she decided to start documenting her "Year of Celebrating".  Every day her Facebook status was a statement of celebration.  No complaints or b!tc#ing about traffic, work or bad hair days.  Instead she finds things in the ordinary that truly bring joy.  Now, you might think that wouldn't be too hard.  For most of us, no it wouldn't - but for some reason, God decided to send her the trials of Job this past year.  She found a dream job, lost that dream job, watched her sweet mom suffer with cancer until her last breath, - and to top it all off - moved to Saudi Arabia to teach Saudi princesses.  (okay, that last one wasn't a trial - but definitely a challenge!)  I was inspired by her lack of defeat throughout all of these and many other difficult moments, hours and days.  I'm pretty sure that many of those days held little to celebrate, and yet, she did it.


I want to face my 50th year that way.  I want to be that kind of an Old Broad.  I love parties so what better way to hit this milestone than to celebrate something every day for a whole year.  So, with the permission of my dear friend - I am going to plagiarize her incredible idea.  I want to only post celebratory moments, every day - even in the crappiest situations.  I want to find the moments to commemorate as times of joy.  I've asked Dan for a new camera for Christmas, so I would like to pictorially document some of those times.  Then, on the 18th of every month of 2011 - I will have a party of some kind.  As I look through the calender and see some of the pre-existing appointments on there, I can see that some of those celebrations will be pretty cool - like one in Bogota, Colombia in February, or one at post-production of Guys & Dolls in April.  I can hardly wait.  Then there are the things that only God knows that aren't on my calender that I can't plan on.  Things like pain, and loss and change and disappointments.   Those I'm not so psyched about - but I want to be able to find glimpses of joy in those things too.


Let the celebrations begin!

(Thanks Sandra, for inspiring me to live my life celebrating.  Here's to your last month of the "year of fabulousness"...  Love you!)