I am the most unorganized person in the universe. There...I said it. I admit it and I am seeking help for this condition that seems to be quite terminal. At this point in my life, to become organized is a less-than-likely probability, so I will embrace my cluttered life, my dust bunnies, and my inability to lay hands on what I need at any given moment. Many people comment on how I am similar to my Mom. Well, when it comes to the neatness, organized side - we could not be more un-alike. She would become quite hot and bothered over her "mess" - which consisted of 3 dirty dishes in the sink and the Calgary Herald out of the magazine rack. My Dad used to say that he didn't want to get up in the night to go to the bathroom, because he was afraid of coming back to find the bed already made.
I am not my mother (at least in that way). My bed is in a permanent state of "unmade-ness". My sink is full of dishes on a regular basis. I have piles and stacks everywhere. I watch TLC's "Hoarders" so that I can feel good about myself once in a while (however, my dearly beloved has been known to utter statements like "That's YOU! " while watching with me - actually this only happened once as he now knows better than that!).
Anyways... all this to say - somewhere in this existence in chaos, I have lost my car keys. I had them one day then didn't. I have looked in all the usual places and have come up with nothing but the realization that I need to get more organized. In my quest for order - and looking for my elusive car keys - I have dug through some of the clutter and found a plethora (great word, eh?) of journals, each with about 4 to 5 days of entries - because I am clearly not organized enough to assemble a train of thought on a regular basis. As I looked through the events that merited chronicling, I found one entry from 10 years ago. I was on the 'eve of my youth - days before turning 40, dealing with all the emotions surrounding what I believed to be my twilight years, I turned my thoughts to the things I still wanted to do, see and accomplish. I made a list of 50 things - a kind of bucket list - that I hoped to do in the next 10 years. Like so many other articles (like my car keys) it got lost in the stuff until today. Here is my list...
1. Still be married to the one I love and make sure he knows it. - check
2. Work at a job I have passion for - check
3. Be friends with my kids - check
4. Preach a sermon - check - in PCA chapel
5. Get a motorcycle licence -
6. Get a tattoo - check
7. Go on a cruise - check - California/Baja - Jan 2006
8. Take a missions trip with Dan - check - Colombia Feb 2010
9. Jump a train...albeit a slow one...to the next stop
10. Be speeding ticket free - hahaha - by the skin of my teeth and lots of charm!
11. Go to Hawaii - check - August 2008 & Sept 2010
12. Travel to Europe - going to Germany in March 2011
13. Read through the Bible - sigh...getting there
14. Eat sushi - check- Nighs took the PCAS staff out toSushi King at Paul's retirement
15. Drink a cup of coffee - check - first and only in Colombia Feb 2008
16. Take a belly dance lessons
17. Own a sports car - preferably a convertible - pending - 50th Birthday present July 2011
18. Find Amanda - check - daughter I gave up for adoption - found March 2002 - aka Amy :)
19. Go to the Grand Canyon
20. Paint and frame a masterpiece
21. Raid a garden in the middle of the night and eat stolen peas
22. Write a book
23. Spend a whole day at a spa
24. Scrapbook my life
25. Learn how to make lefsa like my mom - check - but not till she died unfortunately
26. Drive a bus - check - got my bus licence for PCA
27. Be content in whatever state I am - check - most days anyways ;)
28. Jump off a cliff - check - same time I did #45
29. Learn sign language
30. Drive across Canada
31. Watch the sun set then rise without sleeping in between
32. Go to a major league baseball game - check - Padres game -April 24, 2011
33. Be a Grandma - but a cool one - check - to Isaac & Silas
34. Take an overnight canoe trip
35. Go one week without TV - check- the first week of Guys and Dolls
36. Be a red head
37. Skinny dip
38. Toilet paper a house
39. Make a quilt
40. Do a "personal" photo shoot ;o)
41. Sleep under the stars - check - many times with my kids on the trampoline
42. Tell a stranger about Jesus - check - explaining to someone #6
43. Sing on top of a mountain
44. Swim in a waterfall
45. Go white water rafting - check - with Sr class 2006, 2008, 2009
46. Learn to kick box
47. Stay in a Fantasy room at WEM
48. Read the Hobbit (changed this now to watch all LOTR movies without falling asleep)
49. Visit Muli, my Compassion Child - in Kenya
50. Live without regrets - in process
So, without even referring to this list for the last almost 10 years, I have actually been able to check off 19 things. I'm hoping to get more crossed off in the next 262 days...unless I misplace the list.
Friday, 29 October 2010
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
It's funny how so often in my life I would ask my kids for just a little peace and quiet. "Can you please turn that music down?" "Do you really have to play hockey in the house?" "Stop fighting!" I longed for the days that I could hear myself think. I have those days now. As I sit here the only sound is the clicking of my keyboard and a hollow tick-tock of the clock on the wall. It has been a year now with just the two of us. There are things that I really really like...no, not being able to walk naked around the house - although that is most likely one of Dan's perks. It is nice having drama free conversations on a regular basis. I like eating cereal for supper sometimes ... just because we can. I like being two. The things I don't like is the missing laughter or jokes. I miss playing games and movie nights - especially the chick flick marathons. And I kind of miss the sound of distant gun fire and explosions bleeding through the walls from some ridiculously violent xbox game.
We spend so much time, energy and cash on these little critters and just when you get to the point that you really really like them - they leave. Doesn't seem quite right - but then again it does. Its an investment that if tended carefully, yields greatly. Sure they are gone and on their own - starting their own little nests, but being able to see them succeed - and even sometimes fail, but get back up - is such an amazing thing to watch. I made a million and two mistakes as a mom but somehow it seemed to work out okay. They are terrific human beings, making an impact in a world that has chosen them.
So many of my friends are in those crazy noisy years. I love to follow their journeys through Facebook statuses, pictures and blogs. It makes me nostalgic and sad and happy all at the same time. It got quiet too fast...but there is always GRANDKIDS!!! Bring it on!